Domestic Violence Awareness Guide - okdhs.org

1 Domestic Violence Awareness Guide Oklahoma Department of Human Services Adult and Family Services 1

2 Table of Contents Acknowledgments 5 Foreword 6 Introduction 7 Chapter 1 What is Domestic Violence ?

3 8 Power and Control Wheel 9 The Cycle of Violence 10 Equality Wheel 13 Signs of Domestic Violence 14 Chapter 2 Who Are the Victims? 15 National Victim Statistics 15 Why Women Stay 15 The Progression of Domestic Violence 16 Barriers to Leaving a Violent Relationship 17 Victims Health Problems and Substance Abuse 18 Domestic Violence within Gay Relationships 19 Domestic Violence and the Elderly 19 Domestic Violence and People with Disabilities 20 Adolescent and Teen Dating Violence

4 21 Teen Power and Control Wheel 23 Safety Planning for Teens 24 Domestic Violence and the Effect on Children 25 Domestic Violence and the Child Support 30 Chapter 3 Who Are the Batterers? 31 Predictors of Domestic Violence 31 Warning Signs for the Batterer 32 Immediate Ways for Batterers to Stop Violence 32 Behavioral Tactics 33 Batterer Intervention 34 Recidivism 34 Couples Counseling and Mediation 34 Anger Management Programs 34 Batterers and Substance Abuse 35

5 Lethality 36 2 Chapter 4 What Can We Say and Do?

6 37 Intervention 38 Special Note for DHS Case Managers 40 TANF and Women in Violent Relationships 41 What if She Decides to Stay? 41 Interview Tips 42 Individuals Against Domestic Violence 43 Communities Against Domestic Violence 44 Chapter 5 Assessing Danger, Safety Planning and Crisis Intervention 45 Assessing the Danger 45 Safety Planning to Prevent Escalation 45 Safety When Preparing to Leave 47 Personalized Safety Plan 48 Checklist: What You Need to Take When You Leave 49 Personal Safety When the Relationship is Over 50 Children s Safety Plan 51 Tips for Mothers 51 Workplace Guidelines 52 Be Safe at the Courthouse 53 Flow Chart for Handling Crisis Calls 54 Chapter 6 The Legal System 55 Using the Law to Help You 56 Information on the Oklahoma Protective Order 57 State of Oklahoma Domestic Violence Law 61 Chapter 7 Resources 63 OCADVSA 63 Latino Community Development Agency 63 Oklahoma Office of Attorney General 63 Address Confidentiality Program 64

7 Oklahoma VINE 64 Native Alliance Against Violence 64 Oklahoma Domestic Violence Programs by City 65 State Domestic Violence Coalitions 67 Certified Batterers Intervention Programs 70 3 Legal Aid Services of Oklahoma Inc.

8 72 Related Websites 75 Community Resource Page 76 Chapter 8 Taking Care of You 77 14 Things to Remember 77 Common Pitfalls to Working withVictims of Domestic Violence 77 4 Acknowledgments We would like to thank the agencies, organizations and individuals who contributed to the development of this training curriculum. Some contributed by allowing us to use information printed on their websites, which are devoted to stopping Domestic Violence .

9 Others contributed by graciously providing professional or personal expertise in this area. Each contributor joins us in the effort to educate service providers and the community in general about Domestic Violence . Consultations provided by: Marcia Smith, executive director of the Oklahoma Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Beth Stanford, director of education for the Oklahoma Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Ann Lowrance, director of Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Services with the Oklahoma Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse Services Pat Cole, associate director of the National Training Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence Elizabeth Haynie, programs field representative for the Department of Human Services Aging Services Kathy Simms.

10 Programs administrator for the Department of Human Services Child Welfare Services, Child Protective Services Esther Rider-Salem, programs manager II for the Department of Human Services Child Welfare Services, Child Protective Services Contributing agencies and organizations: American Bar Association Domestic Violence Division Family Violence Prevention Fund Gail Stricklin, private attorney Metropolitan King Cou