100+ KIDS JOKES

1 100+ KIDS JOKESQ: Why did the computer go to the doctor?A: It had a blue : Why can t your nose be 12 inches long?A: Because then it would be a : How do you get a tissue to dance?A: You put a little boogie in itQ: Why did they quit giving tests at the zoo?A: Because it was full of cheetahsQ: Why is a bad joke like a pencil?A: Because it has no pointQ: Where do polar bears keep their money?A: A snow : What room can no one enter?A: A mushroomQ: What kind of key can never unlock a door?A: A monkeyQ: What has four wheels and flies?A: A garbage truckQ: Why do graveyards have a fence around them?A: Because people are dying to get : What did the cheerleader say to the ghost?

2 A: Show your : What did one eye say to the other?A: Between you and me something : What do you call fake noodles?A: Im-pastaQ: How does the ocean say hello?A: It wavesQ: What do you call cheese that is not yours?A: Nacho cheeseQ: What does a nosey pepper do?A: Gets jalapeno your businessQ: What do you call a pig that knows karate?A: Pork ChopQ: Why can t you give Elsa a balloon?A: Because she will let it goQ: What is the smartest kind of bee?A: A spelling beeQ: Why do bees have sticky hair?A: They use a honey combQ: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a potato?A: Mashed potatoesQ: What do you call an old snowman?

3 A: WaterQ: Why is a baseball stadium always cool?A: It is full of fansQ: Why did Santa go to music school?A: So he could improve his wrapping skillsQ: Why couldn t the pirate learn the alphabet?A: Because he was always lost at CQ: What did the man say when he walked into a bar?A: Ouch!Q: What are the strongest days of the week?A: Saturday and Sunday. Every other day is a weekdayQ: What goes tick-tock and woof-woof?A: A watchdogQ: What do you call a monkey that loves potato chips?A: A chipmonk 100+ KIDS JOKESQ: What did the girl ocean say to the boy ocean when he asked her out on a date?A: ShoreQ: Why do shoemakers go to heaven?

4 A: Because the have good solesQ: What did one plate say to another plate?A: Dinner is on meQ: Why did they bury the battery?A: Because it was : What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?A: Time to get a new fenceQ: Why don t dinosaurs eat clowns?A: Because they taste funnyQ: Why did the girl throw a stick of butter?A: She wanted to see a butter flyQ: What did the finger say to thumb?A: I m in glove with youQ: What has only one eye, but still can t see?A: A needleQ: Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?A: He wanted to go to high : What do you call a cow with three legs?A: Lean beefQ: Want me to tell you a joke about pizza?

5 A: Sorry, it is too : Why was the broom late?A: It : Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?A: In case he got a hole in : Why did Mozart sell his chickens?A: They kept saying, Bach, Bach, Bach. Q: What word starts with E and has only one letter in it?A: : Why is dark spelled with a K and not a C?A: Because you can t see in the : How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?A: Ten ticklesQ: Why did the kid throw the clock out the window?A: He wanted to see time : Why did the banana go to the doctor?A: It wasn t peeling : What kind of tree can fit into your hand?A: A palm tree!Q: How can you tell that a tree is a dogwood tree?

6 A: By its bark!Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?A: A Gummy BearQ: Why did the skeleton go to the dance alone?A: He had no body to go with him!Q: Why did the students eat their homework?A: Because the teacher told them that it was a piece of : What did the stamp say to the envelope?A: Stick with me, and we will go places!Q: Why wouldn t the teacher bring the class to the pumpkin patch?A: It was in a seedy part of : What s another name for a clever duck?A: Wise quacker!Q: Why did the man run around his bed?A: To catch up on his + KIDS JOKESQ: Why didn t the baby skeleton cross the road alone?A: Because his mummy was not there!

7 Q. What do you call a cow with no legs?A. Ground : What did the buffalo say to his kid when he dropped him off for school?A: : What nails do carpenters hate hammering?A: FingernailsQ: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?A: Because if they flew over the bay they d be : What do you call a pig that knows karate? A : a pork chop!Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: Because you can see right through them!Q: What animal needs to wear a wig?A: a bald eagle!Q: How do all the oceans say hello to each other?A: They wave!Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?A: I ll meet you at the corner!Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?

8 A: An investigator!Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire A: Frostbite!Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A: A bulldozer!Q: What can you catch but not throw? A: A cold!Q: What has hands but can t clap? A: A clock!Q: What do you call a dog that can tell time? A: A watch dog!Q: What falls in winter but never gets hurt? A: The snow!Q: Why did the teacher put on sunglasses? A: Because her students were so bright! Q: How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity? A: Shocked!Q: What do you call a flower that runs on electricity? A: A power plant!Q: Why couldn t the pony sing in the choir?

9 A: Because she was a little horse!Q: Why did the cookie go to the nurse? A: Because he felt crummy!Q: How do you keep a bull from charging? A: Take away its credit card!Q: What is the witch s favorite school subject? A: Spelling!Q: What has a ton of ears but can t hear a thing?A: A corn : What goes up and down but does not move?A: StairsQ: What did the traffic light say to the car?A: Don t peek I m changing!Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?A: It was the chicken s day off100+ KIDS JOKES Knock Knock. Who s there? Boo. Boo who? Don t cry, it s just me. Knock Knock. Who s there? Cow says. Cow says who? NOOOOOO!

10 A cow says moo! Knock Knock. Who s there? Iva. Iva who? Iva sore hand from knocking. Knock Knock. Who s there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting Knock Knock. Who s there? Interrupting pirate. Interrupting Knock Knock. Who s there? A broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Nevermind, it s pointless. Knock Knock. Who s there? A little old lady. A little old lady who? I didn t know that you could yodel. Knock Knock. Who s there? Atch. Atch who? Bless you. Knock Knock. Who s there? Figs. Figs who? Fix the doorbell, it s broken! Knock Knock. Who s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in we re cold out here!