Guidelines for Schools - Support After Suicide

1 Guidelines for Schools The following information has been Young People increased risk-taking prepared to assist Schools in responding behaviours (use of alcohol / drugs, what to do to bereavement in their school sexual activity, use of cars / motorbikes community, particularly Suicide in unsafe ways), withdrawal from friends bereavement. The aim of this & family, sudden loss of interest / poor information is to increase awareness of performance at school, engaging in the unique issues and experiences of attention-seeking' behaviours those bereaved in order to enable Adults acutely distressed / agitated, in appropriate and effective Support . shock, withdrawn, depressed, unable to If you would like to receive more attend to usual responsibilities, information, to make a referral or to hyperactivity, sensitised to own mortality, inquire about secondary consultation or any range of bereavement and traumatic professional development, please responses.

2 Contact us. Responding to Suicide Bereavement Why is grief following Suicide Children's concepts of death different? Children say things directly, simply and Kalischuk & Hayes (2004) outline clearly. Their stage of development specific issues for the Suicide bereaved: influences their understanding of death. The grief is more intense and often There are three concepts that are never fully resolved important for children to grasp: The bereaved are more likely to Death is irreversible and final; it is not become socially isolated and a trip'. withdrawn because of the stigma that still surrounds Suicide death Death brings about non-functionality The bereaved engage in a life and body functions stop, the person is not asleep continuous search for the reason and are likely to assume greater Death is inevitable everyone will die responsibility for the death some time. The bereaved experience significant Most children understand these guilt associated with not anticipating / concepts by the age of 9 years.

3 Children Support After Suicide preventing the Suicide . who are bereaved before the age of 7. PO Box 271 Kalischuk, R. G., & Hayes, V. E. (2004). are likely to come to a partial Richmond VIC 3121 Grieving, mourning, and healing following understanding of them earlier. Phone: 9421 7640 youth Suicide : A focus on health and well Some of the specific needs of bereaved being in families. Omega, 48, 45 67. children and young people are as Fax: 9421 7698. Possible Presentations: follows: Email: Children heightened insecurities ( Ways of supporting a bereaved child Web: fearful, clingy, tearful) and regressive or young person behaviours (eg. changes in eating, Don't put a time limit on the process A program of sleeping and toileting patterns) of grieving. Be available some time Jesuit Social Services down the track Sit quietly with the young person and listen It is also important to be aware that the effect of while he/she talks, cries or is silent bereavement can go well beyond the initial crisis Make opportunities to share memories or look period.

4 For those most affected, grief can be a at photos of the person who has died long-term process. It can also have a cumulative Acknowledge and believe the young person's effect as the impact ripples through a school pain and distress whatever the loss - large or community, sometimes unseen. In these small circumstances, it can be important to find an Reassure the person that grief is a normal appropriate way to commemorate the death. response to loss and there is no wrong or right way to grieve Students, staff and families within the school Don't panic in the absence or presence of community will each have unique responses, strong emotional responses which will vary according to such factors as age, Provide a safe space; have a regular routine level of understanding, the person's character and Be consistent, honest and reassuring their relationship to the person who has died, as Give honest, adequate and appropriate well as previous experiences of grief and information bereavement.

5 Include and involve the child in appropriate decision-making and in what is happening Sometimes school communities are concerned Acknowledge feelings and give Support when that talking openly about a Suicide death may lead the child is overwhelmed by feelings to further suicides. However, the opposite is true. Provide opportunities to remember, create a Open and honest accounts of Suicide death and memory box and make a memory book, draw, the provision of information and Support are paint, make a collage, write stories, poems, imperative to a school community. collect photos Be aware of the effect of special occasions and Please also refer to the manual prepared for assist in preparation for them. Mother's managing emergencies and crises within the Day, Father's Day, Christmas, Easter, holidays school. This has Guidelines for managing other Be aware of your own grief and/or feeling of aspects of responding to bereavement, such as helplessness the funeral, and for informing staff and the wider Provide information about grief books, web sites school community.

6 Ideas for responding to Suicide bereavement in Within the school community the classroom A death can affect a school community at various The following are some creative ways of assisting levels. Those affected directly or indirectly may staff and students in responding to Suicide include an individual student/s, teachers, other bereavement. These activities may be done school staff, a class or student community and individually or in a group or classroom setting: families. The experience of the death and associated grief will affect people in different ways. Write a letter to the bereaved person and/or family or make a card and add a message Death by Suicide will affect each individual and community differently. Some people may appear Students and staff may make a memory book obviously affected while others may not. about the person who has died include photos, Regardless of those directly affected, the Suicide poems, sketches, qualities, sayings, stories death of a student, teacher or family member will Students may create images that express have an impact on the community as a whole.

7 Something of their grief experience art A Suicide death may lead to shock, confusion, materials clay, paints, drawing, collage disbelief and anger, to name only some common Students may make a CD of songs that are responses. A Suicide death often is often a meaningful stigmatised death and can lead to a lack of appropriate Support for those affected. Deliver and/or provide a formal grief program;. ' Seasons for Growth'. Information and Support for Students Referral to local supports Supporting students After a Suicide may include Below is a list of counselling and Support services the following: that may be of benefit to the bereaved student and family. Supporting a class Talk with the class about grief Additional Resources Provide students with adequate and accurate After a Suicide : A Toolkit for Schools . A resource information about the death in consultation with developed by the American Foundation for Suicide the bereaved family.

8 Clear and honest information Prevention and the Suicide Prevention Resource is important to reduce gossip and uncertainty. Center. Listen and allow time Listen to each student's particular experience and Calmer classrooms: a guide to working with concern and give them time to talk about what has traumatised children. A booklet published by the happened and how they feel. Child Safety Commissioner, Melbourne, Victoria. Provide written information Available at or phone the Students may benefit from reading information Office of the Child Safety Commissioner on (03). about grief in private. Written information can take 8601 5884. time to absorb and students may need time alone to deal with their feelings. Websites Provide flexible Support Mind Matters People grieve in their own time and in their own way, so providing flexible non-judgemental Support vic_ is important. Allowing the students to have some quiet time and a quiet space is also important.

9 Managing School Emergencies Acknowledgement for those directly bereaved A number of creative expressions of sympathy and memorialisation are available to students and may Child Development and Trauma Guide. An be facilitated and coordinated by school staff. information booklet published by These include making and sending cards, Everychildeverychance: Best Interests Series, Vic. pictures, photos and writing letters. If the students Gov. 2007. Available at the Office for Children knew the person who died they may create a website: memory journal to be given to the family. everychildeverychance When the student returns to school In addition to the above a bereaved student returning to school After a Suicide death may have specific needs. The following ideas may assist school staff: Communicating with the bereaved student Talk to and or visit the bereaved student before they return to school.

10 This will provide an opportunity for the student to express how they are feeling about returning to school and what Support they may specifically need.