Keys to the Kingdom - UnderstandMen.com

1 keys to the KingdomxAlison A. ArmstrongPAXP rograms Incorporatedby Alison A. Armstrong creator of Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women KKeys to the Kingdom The principles woven throughoutKeys to the Kingdomhave the power to transform your relationships with men ALL men! Read, reflect, be prepared for miracles with men! BJ Gallagher, Author of Everything I Need To Know I Learned From Other WomenClaudia Lambert is an elderly woman with an unusual history: her family has been studying menand their behavior for five hundred years. KarenTrevini is a school teacher struggling in her nineteenyear marriage. A chance encounter between thesetwo women leads to an extraordinary exchange of information that transforms Karen's relationship to all men, and changes her husband s life Armstrong is the creator of the nationally recognized Celebrating Men,Satisfying Women workshop. Thousands of women, single and married, have benefited from her exceptional understanding of men and their 1 Quick LinksKHow can I know if Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women is for me?

2 Click above for more information on the Celebrating Men, SatisfyingWomen Workshop, including our Is this for me? here to view our scheduled Special here to purchase bound copies of keys to here to subscribe to our Free E-Newsletter, Keeping the Peace, and download back you a Frog Farmer? We can help! Click here to read the original Frog Farmer here to visit our Home here for more information about PAX Programs here to Contact lay curled against Mike, listening to him snore softly. Shewas almost giddy with excitement. Who would have thought?Claudia would have thought, she told herself. Oh, I don t knowabout that, she mentally argued back, reliving the lovemaking thathad recently concluded. Well, she does call what she knows the keys to the Kingdom ..Whether or not Claudia knew the power of what she had toldKaren that day, Karen was more grateful, already, than she couldhave imagined. In place of the tears that she had become used to,a smile accompanied her to sleep.

3 Ki Until we transform the quality of relationships betweenmen and women, we can t begin to resolve the issues we face in our world today. As a man, I pray that women everywhere read and take to heart this book. I also learneda great deal about myself. A must read for anyone interested in living a powerful life! CARLZAISS, International Business Consultant, Educator, and Author of True Partnership Revolutionary Thinking About Relating To OthersKeysto theKingdomKAlison A. ArmstrongPAX Programs IncorporatediiiKeys to the KingdomCopyright 2003 Alison ArmstrongAll rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information address:PAX Programs Incorporated. Box 56373 Sherman Oaks, CA 91413 design: Bette Cowles-FriedlanderCover illustration: Jeff KoegelISBN: 0-9741435-0-2 First edition published 200310 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Printed in the United States of AmericaivACKNOWLEDGMENTS viiINTRODUCTION ixTHECOVENANT 1 THEBEGINNING 23 THEMENWHOWOULDBEKINGS 57 DESCENTINTODARKNESS 79I Y AMWHATI Y AM 107 COLOR IN ABLACK ANDWHITEWORLD 139 MUCH TOBETHANKFULFOR 159 FORGOOD ORILL 171 NEWBEGINNINGS 185 COMING IN2004 The Transformation of a Frog FarmerTHEREVELATION 193vContentsKMYHEARTFELT AND DEEPEST APPRECIATION TO THE FOLLOWING people without whom this book and my life s work would not existoutside of me: To Greg, my husband, for your love and my life.

4 ToJeff, Claire, and Annie, my children, for the sweet inspiration of yourwisdom, curiosity, support, hugs, and laughter. To Jeff Armstrong, mybrother, for your love and support, and the joy your family brings Sharon Todd, my mother, for your devotion and encouragement,always. To Dave Armstrong, my father, the adventurer, for your loveand laughter and pleasure in life. To Lindsey, my sister, for the lightyou bring our family. To Mercer Carlin, my best friend, for your pas-sion and love. To Don and Martha Lewis, the best in-laws imaginable,for your support, encouragement, and appreciation. To Rolland Todd,the Coach, for your support. To Joan McClain, PAX s co-founder andthe first to believe, for your years of work to bring the keys to thou-sands. To Gabriel, for your joy, love, and guidance. To BarbaraGeorge, for your love, support, and leadership. To , for yourinsights and encouragement, and the message that one person canmake a difference. To Ellen Hurst, for setting me free from fourteenyears of being afraid of men.

5 To Denise Lynn, the angels angel, forall your support and partnership. To Lisa Sasevich, my friend and col-league, for making it possible by holding down the fort with your pas-sion and dedication. To the staff of PAX, my pillars, for your love andsupport and darn hard work. To Jolene Shepard, for your guidanceviiAcknowledgmentsKand support when the pelican has me. To PAX s investors, for yourgenerosity and support. To all the graduates of Celebrating Men,Satisfying Women , my students, for your gifts and your lessons. Toall the men who have taught me, for showing me yourselves, andthereby giving me the keys to a new to the KingdomviiiTHIS BOOK IS A LABOR OF LOVE FOR GRADUATES OF THE CELEBRATINGMen, Satisfying Women workshop and all people hungry for infor-mation and insights into joyful, satisfying relationships between menand our workshops create an environment and process for womento learn how to understand and appreciate men, and how to commu-nicate with men in their language, keys to the Kingdom exists toentertain as it enlightens and educates.

6 The characters, while theymay seem out of the ordinary, are based on thousands of real men andwomen who have learned and used this information since 1995. Theyhave shown me that the topics within are surprisingly simple to useand profoundly alter relationships between spouses, lovers, friends,co-workers, parents, and their have had the luxury of learning about men over a long, leisurelytwelve years, and continue learning to this day. I encourage the readerto pause, to reflect, to absorb, and to use each of the keys to thekingdom available in this tale. If you prefer a more linear, structuredprocess for making sense of men and their behaviors, with plenty ofdiagrams and lists and exercises, please see the back of this book, , for information about our workshops andother to the Kingdom is the first of several books intended to cap-ture most of the information and insights available in our at the end of this story is the first chapter of The Transfor-mation of a Frog Farmer, the next book in this Alison ArmstrongDedicated to Clara Stockton ArmstrongKAlwaysxxiASCLAUDIA LEFT HER DOCTOR SOFFICE, SHE POLITELY SAID GOOD-BYEwithout her usual warmth or cheerfulness.

7 Her carefully maintainedsense of balance had been profoundly disturbed. In place of content-ment, she felt had gone to see if there was something her doctor could pro-vide for her arthritis, which had been increasingly painful. Surprisingly,the family physician had recommended yoga instead of more med-ication. She thought it would be a good compliment to Claudia s avidgardening by slowly stretching the joints and muscles she didn t nor-mally s sense of dread was not a result of contending with thepain of her swollen and twisted joints. Rather, it was due to the othertests the doctor had performed, which indicated a notable reduction inher general state of health. This was not a surprise to Claudia, who hadrecently celebrated her seventy-seventh Burt returned from the lumberyard, he saw Claudia seatedin her garden. This was not unusual; but the expression on her face andher slumped posture immediately caught his attention. She looked likeshe had the weight of the world on her shoulders.

8 Burt felt his stomach1 The CovenantKKeys to the Kingdomlurch and went through the French doors in a hurry. He approachedhis beloved wife and asked gently, Honey, are you okay? As Claudia looked up, he could see the tracks of tears on hercheeks. Burt couldn t conceal his anxiety. Did it not go well at thedoctor s? Is something wrong with the kids? Claudia gave him a small smile, obviously trying to ease her hus-band s concern. Do you want to know the whole story, or the end first? Starting to breathe again, he settled himself on the seat acrossfrom her. Start with the end and then tell me the rest. He could tell that Claudia expected that response. After almost sixtyyears together, he was an open book to his wife, best friend, and lover. I m supposed to go to yoga classes. Burt s brows drew together, And that s why you have been crying? No. She took a deep breath and stated simply, The tears arebecause I amafraid of dying.

9 Now Burt was really confused. He knew his wife was no moreafraid of dying than she was afraid of a yoga class. Sure he must bemissing something, he said, That doesn t sound like you. You havenever been afraid of dying before. Is there something the doctor toldyou that made it Claudia replied, matter-of-factly, Only the usual stuff. I am oldand getting older. The gadgets say my blood pressure is a little higher,my heart a little weaker, my kidneys a little slower. Burt kept listening, waiting for the continued, more seriously, But you re right. I am not afraidof medying. I am afraid of itdying with me. And today I realized Idon t have all the time in the world to prevent it. Now Burt understood completely, having had this conversationbefore. The first time was when their daughter, Myra, turned sixteen,but without the fanfare that reaching that age usually generated inClaudia s family. It happened again when their only granddaughter,Kimberlee, turned sixteen, also uneventfully.

10 Then again whenKimberlee got married and, most painfully, when she got had been trying to solve this problem for his wife for forty yearswith no success; he felt disheartened being reminded of CovenantBut because he loved her more than life, he steeled himself foranother attempt. Okay, sweetheart, he began. Maybe this time you lllet me help you. That seemed to catch Claudia s attention, and shelooked at him continued, I understand, better than any man alive, that thewomen in your family possess some extraordinary and esoteric knowl-edge about men. I also understand that you have passed it only frommother to daughter for the last nine generations because of somethingcalled the Covenant. But you have never explained the Covenant tome. If you did, perhaps I could help you find a way around it. He could see Claudia hesitate. He knew she had not explainedher family s covenant to him for a reason. He suspected it wasbecause she wanted to honor it, not find a way around it.