mb lt to staff person - Michael Brandwein | Official web ...

1 Alettert omychi l d's staff person .. by Michael Brandwein Hows trangeiti st h atI. 'ven eve rme tyoua ndi naf ewda ysy ouwi llb ecomet hemos timpor tan t person in my life. Isuppos eyou'veb ee nt oldt hata lready : Theseareot herpe opl e'sc hil dren their most che rishedl ovedon es ;th ey'da c t ua llygi veupt heirownl ifeb e foret heywoul dl e tany thing terribleh appent , e tc.,e t tIhopet haty oudon 'tthin kit 'sstran gei fIt akeaf ew moments to write down a few things that I would want you to know. Oh, sure, there are those Official camp forms where I can tell you that my son or daughter is allergic to a rare kind of wa llpa perpaste,love sv olle yballb utn otwh enit'.

2 Sc loudy{please keep an eye out for that}, or has promised the parole officer not to set any more of the big fires. I wanted to take a few extra mome n t stotelly ousomet hingst ha td on 'tr e a ll ybe l on gonaf or m. I'veb eent hinki ngal ott hel astf ewda y saboutb aby-sitters. Whenever I hire one to look after my child, I interview them. I have the chance to meet them, ask them things, and watch how they interact and play with my child and how my child responds to them. I can personally talk to peopl eforwh omt hey ' v eworkedb dI 'v eth ough taboutschool :I get to meet the teacher before it starts.

3 Butwhe napa rentsen dsthe irchil dt oc amp,oddsa rethey'v en ev e rme tth epe oplewh owi l l st andinthepar ent'. splac derstandr ight,a tsomec ampsy oudon 'te v enkn owt he coun selor'. snameunti lcampactually begins. I just wanted to tell you that all of this is scary. Pleasedon 'tb ei r ustthedi rectorwh ohi r edy oua ndwoul dnev erthi nkofs endi ngmy child unless I did. If the director trusts you, then I trust you. But I know that the director is not going to be taking care of my child personally. You are. And I just wanted you to know what an extraordinary act of faith it is for me to put my child into your arms.

4 Please hold my child carefully. I. 'ms e n di ngmyc hi ldwi t hal loft h ethings that the camp letter said to include. I feel absolutely cert aint h atI'veforg ot tens omet hinga ndIh avet hisf e art hatmyc hi l dwi llbet heonl yone without it, whatever it is. I can still remember when my little brother and I went to sleep-over camp in Wisconsin. Our sec onds umme rwes h owedupf oronl yt hes econ df ourwe ekse s dn'tkn owt hatn o on edi dt h at,a ndth atwe 'dbewa lkingi ntoapl ac ewh eree veryonea lreadykn ewe ve ryonee lse. We showed up proudly wearing our Official camp T-s hir ts,theonl ykindwe '.

5 Db rough t . Unfortunately, no one had told us that these shirts, which were considered the height of coolness our first summer, had been declared the depths of dorkiness for the second summer. When we arrived it was dark. I remember being very grateful for that. Everyone was in the dining hall wa tchin gamovi e,sowes n ucki n toac orner,awa yf r omt on 'tthinkI '. v ee verfe l tso alone. And then I remember the first counselor who smiled at me. Who asked me lots of questions about what I liked to do. Who really listened without interrupting or correcting. I must have talked for three or four minutes with him just smiling and nodding at me.

6 I kept waiting for him to interrupt or something. Four minutes! That was a personal record. It had never happened at home. I liked it. I liked it a lot. And then the box of regular, ordinary, no dorky-logo shirts arrived in an emergency package from mom and dad. Things got much better after that .. There were a few ot he rthingsIwa n tedtotellyou:Id on' te xpec ty out ob epe r fect .He a ven knows I '. mnot. With any luck, maybe heaven doe sn'. tkn ' veb rough tmyc hildupt he bestwa yIkn owh owa ndIkn owI 'vema demi st a kes .Ike e ptr y ingt ole arnh owtod o it better, andjus twh enIt hinkI 'vegott hi spa re nti n gthingdown ,myc hildgr owsol der,chan ge s considerably, and sends me back to the drawing board to figure it all out again.

7 But I have lear n edon et hing:i fy oudon 'tkn ow,ask. Read. Watch others. Invite help. I have a lot of goodf riendswh oIt alkt oa llthetimea boutraisi ngmyc hi ' dh a tetot hinky ouwe r e suddenly trying to do this on your own when I can'tdot ha tmy se lf. Plea sekn owt h atmyc hildisn otpe rf ec te i the '. mh opingthat you will forgive just as you woul dl iket ob ef orgive ny ourself,andt hatwh enmyc hil ddoe ss ome t hi ngt hatis n'tr i gh t ,tha t you will focus on helping to show what should be done better the next time. In other words, just treat my child exactly as you will want to be treated if you mess up.

8 Ikn owy ou'. vegotal otofc hil dre ntot akec areof .Th eya rea lli mpor tan t. Ihopev erymuc ht haty ouf indsome thi ngs pe cialaboutmi ne .Id on'. tme anb ett ustme an something unique that sets my child apart as a valuable individual. You see, I love my child very much. And I tell my child that every day. But the problem is that I'. vera i se dar easonablys ma rtchildwhofigur e sthatit'smyj obt os ay you'res ma rt a nd y ou l ookgr ea t a nd peopler eall yt hinkyou'. ret e rrif ic. Fr omt imet ot imemyc hi l dmus twon de rif Isaythes et hingsbe causet hey'rereal lyt rueorb e caus eI 'msupposed to say them.

9 Woul dn'ti tbegr eatifmyc hil dme ty ou,acompl et es t ra nge r,a ndy oudi scov eredv aluablet hings in my child all on your own? See, if YOU find and talk about these positive things, my child can say, He y ,peopl en oticeth atI'vegotg oodthi ngsi nsideofme .Igue ssma ybeId . SoI 'v es ortofe ndedwh ereIb egan:t alki ngabouts tranger s. Ironically, the very fact that you are a stranger to my child gives you, in some ways, even more power than I have. And one final thing: sometimes when I write my thoughts down I understand them better. When Is tartedwr i tingt hislett erIdidn '.

10 Treal ly see this, but I do now: I. tjustoccur redtome:Ifyouc aref ormyc hil dwit hloveandpat ienc eandski ll ,th eny ou'. ren o s tran ge r .You' v esudde nlybec omemymosti mpor tantf ri endinthewor ld. Thank you, friend. Have a most wonderful summer! AChi l d'sGr atef ulPar ent Adapted from Training Terrific staff , Michael Brandwein 1996, 1999 by Michael Brandwein / All Rights Reserved Individual camps may copy and distribute this to their staff , but only if the copyright notice in this box is included in its entirety. Any other reproduction or use requires permission of the author, at 5 Coventry Lane / Lincolnshire, IL 60069 / 847-940-9820 / Thank you!