Transcription of When Someone You Love Dies
1 Bible and Tract Society ofNew York, Inc., Wallkill, New York, in the United States of AmericaHassomeoneyoulovedfallenasleepind eath?Areyoustillgrieving?Doyouneedhelpin dealingwithyourgrief?Istherehopeforthede ad?Ifso,whatisit?Howcanwebesure?Inthisbr ochure, ItCan tBeTrue! PAGE3 IsItNormaltoFeelThisWay?PAGE7 HowCanILiveWithMyGrief?PAGE14 HowCanOthersHelp? , ,Scripturequotationsarefromthemodern-lan guageNewWorldTranslationoftheHolyScriptu res (we-E) 1994,2000,2005 WatchTowerBibleandTractSocietyofPennsylv aniaPublishers ItCan tBeTrue! ANEWYORK( )manrelates: ,Valentina,didn , , Jonathanwillbebacksoon, That llbehimforsure. Itwasn Doyourecognizethisdriver sli-cense? thepoliceofficerasked. Yes,that smyson s,Jonathan s.
2 We sbeenanaccident, ,..yoursonhasbeenkilled. Myfirstreactionwas, Itcan tbetrue! Thatbombshellopenedawoundinourheartsthat isstillheal-ing,evenyearslater. AfatherinBarcelona(Spain)writes: BackintheSpainofthe1960 s, a,mywife,andourthreechildren,David,Paqui to,andIsabel,aged13,11,and9respectively. OnedayinMarch1963, Paquito , regardlessofhowmuchtimepassesorhowmanyot herchildrentheymayhave. We sbeenanaccident, ,..yoursonhasbeenkilled. 4 WhenSomeoneYouLoveDiesThesetwoexperience s,whereparentslostchildren, : ,relationships[son,daughter-in-law,grand children], : Myhusband,Rus-sell, ,onedayinJuly1988, ,whendeathtakesyourchild,yourhus-band,yo urwife,yourparent,yourfriend,itistrulywh attheChristianwriterPaulcalledit, thelastenemy.
3 Oftenthefirstnaturalreactiontothedreadfu lnewsmaybedenial, Itcan tbetrue!Idon tbelieveit. Otherreactionsoftenfollow,aswewillsee. 1 Corinthians15:25, ,beforeweconsiderthefeelingsofgrief, lastenemy, : Deathistobebroughttonothing. Thelastenemytobeabolishedisdeath. (1 Corinthi-ans15:26,TheNewEnglishBible)Why couldPaulbesosureofthat?Becausehehadbeen taughtbyonewhohadbeenraisedfromthedead,J esusChrist.(Acts9:3-19)ThatisalsowhyPaul couldwrite: Sincedeathisthroughaman[Adam],resurrecti onofthedeadisalsothroughaman[JesusChrist ].ForjustasinAdamallaredying,soalsointhe Christallwillbemadealive. 1 Corinthians15:21, : As[Jesus]gotnearthegateofthecity[Nain],w hy,look!therewasadeadmanbeingcarriedout, , ,hewasmovedwithpityforher,andhesaidtoher : Stopweeping.
4 Withthatheapproachedandtouchedthebier,an dthebearersstoodstill,andhesaid: Youngman,Isaytoyou,Getup! Andthedeadmansatupandstartedtospeak, ,andtheybegantoglorifyGod,saying:WhenSom eoneYouLoveDies5 Agreatprophethasbeenraisedupamongus, and, Godhasturnedhisattentiontohispeo-ple. NoticehowJesuswasmovedwithpity,sothather esurrectedthewidow sson!Imag-inewhatthatportendsforthefutur e! Luke7 ,infrontofeyewitnesses, ,arestorationtolifeonearthunder anewheav-en. OnthatoccasionJe-sushadsaid: Donotmar-velatthis,becausethehouriscomin ginwhichallthoseinthememorialtombswillhe arhisvoiceandcomeout. Revela-tion21:1,3,4;John5:28,29;2 Peter3 , : Jesussaidtothem: Come,takeyourbreakfast. Notoneofthediscipleshadthecouragetoinqui reofhim: Whoareyou?
5 , John21 ,Petercouldwritewithuttercon-viction: BlessedbetheGodandFatherofourLordJesusCh rist,foraccordingtohisgreatmercyhegaveus anewbirthtoalivinghopethroughtheresurrec tionofJesusChristfromthedead. 1 Peter1 : IbelieveallthethingssetforthintheLawandw rittenintheProph-ets;andIhavehopetowardG od,whichhopethesementhemselvesalsoentert ain,thatthereisgo-ingtobearesurrectionof boththerighteousandtheunrighteous. Acts24:14, ,entitled ASureHopefortheDead. Butfirstletusconsiderquestionsyoumayhave ifyouaregrievingoverthelossofalovedone:I sitnormaltogrievethisway?HowcanIlivewith mygrief?Whatcanothersdotohelpmecope?Howc anIhelpotherswhoaregriev-ing?Andprincipa lly,WhatdoestheBiblesayaboutasurehopefor thedead?WillIeverseemylovedonesagain?
6 Andwhere?QuestionstoPonderWhatisanatural reactiontothedeathofalovedone?WhatdidJes usdoforawidowatNain?Whatpromiseregarding thedeaddidJesusgive?WhycouldPeterandPaul besurethattherewouldbearesurrection?What questionsdeserveananswer? (therewerefourofus). ,atfirst,Iwasunabletoweep. Insomecultures, , ,insomepartsoftheworld,notablyinnorth-er nEuropeandBritain,people,especiallymen,h avebeenconditionedtohidetheirfeelings,to suppresstheiremotions, ,isitsomehowwrongtoexpressyourgrief?What doestheBiblesay?ThoseWhoWeptintheBibleTh eBiblewaswrittenbyHebrewsoftheeasternMed iterraneanregion, ,he weptwithaverygreatweeping. (2 Samuel13:28-39)Heevengrievedatthelossofh istreacheroussonAb-salom, : Then[David]thekingbecamedisturbedandwent uptotheroofchamberoverthegatewayandgavew aytoweeping;andthisiswhathesaidashewalke d: MysonAbsalom,myson,mysonAbsalom!
7 OthatImighthavedied,Imyself,insteadofyou ,Absalommyson,myson! (2 Samuel18:33) ! (John11:30-38)Later,MaryMagdaleneweptass henearedJesus sepulcher.(John20:11-16)True,aChristianw ithanunderstandingoftheBible sresurrectionhopedoesnotgrieveIsItNormal toFeelThisWay?ABEREAVED personwrites: AsachildinEngland, ,anex-militaryman,say-ingtomethroughclen chedteeth, Don tyoucry! whensomethinghadcausedWhenSomeoneYouLove Dies7inconsolably, ,thetrueChristian,evenwiththehopeofthere surrection,doesgrieveanddoesmourntheloss ofanylovedone. 1 Thessalonians4:13, , ,suchasJob,David,andJeremiah, ,itisnotwisetocutyourselfofffrompeople.( Proverbs18:1)Ofcourse,mourningisexpresse dindif-Itisnormaltogrieveandweepwhenalov edonedies8 WhenSomeoneYouLoveDiesTheword process , :Initialshock;disbelief,denial;emotional numbness;guiltfeelings; :Memorylossandinsomnia;extremefatigue;ab ruptchangesofmood;flawedjudgmentandthink ing;boutsofcrying;appetitechanges,withre sultantweightlossorgain;avarietyofsympto msofdisturbedhealth;lethargy;reducedwork capacity;hallucinations feeling,hearing,seeingthedeceased;inthel ossofachild, :Sadnesswithnostalgia;morepleasantmemori esofthedeceased, ,alsodepend-ingontheprevalentreligiousbe liefs.
8 Whatifyoufeellikeweeping? death,whenJesus (John11:33,35) ,Anne,whohadlostherbabyRacheltoSIDS(Sudd enInfantDeathSyndrome).Herhus-bandcommen ted: Tothis,Annere-sponded: Yes, , , Don tcry, thatdoesn treallyhelp. HowSomeReactHowhavesomereactedwhendesola tedbythelossofalovedone?Forexample, Forexample, ,thereisintensegriefbutonlyforashortperi od,forasaYorubarefrainsays: AccordingtotheYoruba,thismeansthatthewat er-bearingcalabash,themother,canbearanot herchild sWitnessesdonotfollowanytraditionsbasedo nsuperstitionsthatspringfromthefalseidea softheimmortalsoulandreincarnation,which havenobasisintheBible. Ecclesiastes9:5,10;Ezekiel18:4, , weighingjustovertwopounds. Iwassoexcited, Juanitarecalls. Iwasfinal-lyamother!
9 : , ,itwasababyshe playedwith,talkedto,anddreamedof. : RachelAnnewasababywhokickedbooksoffmybel ly, ,likegentle, , ,whenshewassick. Monnacontinuesheraccount: Thedoctorwouldn Monna ,intheirbookSurvivingPregnancyLoss, , ,Veronica,nowupinyears, : Togivebirthtoadeadbabyisaterriblethingfo ramother. Thereactionsofthesefrustratedmothersisno talwaysunderstood, : WhatIhavelearnedinamostpainfulwaywasthat be-forethishappenedtome, : , Thisreactionisperhapsnaturalforahusband , , , ,thoughts, ,husbands, , twanttohaveanythingtodowithanyone. Anextremereaction?Itmaybehardforothersto understand,butthosewho,likeJua-nita, ,theysay, , Iwentthroughaseriesofreactions numbness,disbelief,guilt,andangertowardm yhusbandandthedoctorfornotrealizinghowse rioushisconditionwas.
10 , ,itseems, : ,buthehadignoredthedoc-tors warnings. thatis, sdeath. Hewouldn thavedied, theyconvincethemselves, ifonlyIhadmadehimgotothedoctorsooner or madehimseeanotherdoctor or madehimtakebettercareofhishealth. Forotherstheguiltgoesbeyondthat,es-pecia llyiftheirlovedonediedsuddenly,Thelossof achildisaterribletrauma ,thatthelossofachildleavesapermanentgapi nthelifeoftheparents, , ,oftravel,work,entertainment, Forthefirstweek,Iwasinastateofemotionaln umbness, , , , ,forwhoimaginesthatanyinfantorchildwilld iebeforeitsparentsdo?Ababythathasbecomet hecenterofamother , , Whatcouldwehavedonetopreventit? Insomecasesthehusband,withoutfoundation, , ,ithaddiedinitscrib!Whatwashiswifedoing? Wherewassheatthetime?Theseplaguingques- SuddenInfantDeathSyndrome(SIDS),whichusu allyoc-cursinbabiesagedonetosixmonths, , : Ireturnedtoseeunderthesunthattheswiftdon othavetherace,northemightyonesthebattle, nordothewisealsohavethefood,nordotheunde rstandingonesalsohavetheriches,nordoeven thosehavingknowledgehavethefavor;because timeandun-foreseenoccurrencebefallthemal l.
