Work/ Leisure Education - The Happiness Trap

1 YOUR VALUES:What really matters to you, deep in your heart? What do you want to do with your time on this planet? What sort of person do you want to be? What personal strengths or qualities do you want to develop? 1. work / Education : includes workplace, career, Education , skills development, etc. 2. Relationships: includes your partner, children, parents, relatives, friends, co-workers, and other social contacts. 3. Personal Growth/Health: may include religion, spirituality, creativity, life skills, meditation, yoga, nature;. exercise, nutrition, and/or addressing health risk factors like smoking, alcohol, drugs or overeating etc 4. Leisure : how you play, relax, stimulate, or enjoy yourself; activities for rest, recreation, fun and creativity.

2 THE BULL'S EYE: make an X in each area of the dart board, to represent where you stand today. I am acting very I am living fully by inconsistently with my values my values work / Leisure Education Personal growth/ Relationships Health Adapted with permission from Tobias Lundgren's Bull's Eye Russ Harris 2009 reprinted by permission of New Harbinger: Dissecting The Problem This form is to help gather information about the nature of the main challenge, issue, or problem facing you. First, please summarize, in 1 or 2 sentences, what the main issue or problem is: Second, please describe, in 1 or 2 sentences, how it affects your life, and what it stops you from doing or being: Regardless of what your problem is whether it is a physical illness, a difficult relationship, a work situation, a financial crisis, a performance issue, the loss of a loved one, a severe injury, or a clinical disorder such as depression - when we dissect the problem, we usually find four major elements that contribute significantly to the issue.

3 These are represented in the boxes below. Please write as much as you can in each box, about the thoughts, feelings and actions that contribute to or worsen the challenge, problem or issue facing you. Entanglement With Thoughts Life-draining Actions: What memories, worries, fears, self-criticisms, or other unhelpful What are you currently doing that makes your life worse thoughts do you dwell on, or get caught up in, related to this in the long term: keeps you stuck; wastes your time or issue? What thoughts do you allow to hold you back or push you money; drains your energy; restricts your life, impacts around or bring you down? negatively on your health, work or relationships; maintains or worsens the problems you are dealing with?

4 Struggle With Feelings Avoiding Challenging Situations: What emotions, feelings, urges, impulses, or sensations (associated What situations, activities, people or places are you with this issue) do you fight with, avoid, suppress, try to get rid of, avoiding or staying away from? What have you quit, or otherwise struggle with? withdrawn from, dropped out of? What do you keep putting off until later? Russ Harris 2009 reprinted by permission of New Harbinger: The Life Compass In the main part of each large box, write a few key words about what is important or meaningful to you in this domain of life: What sort of person do you want to be? What sort of personal strengths and qualities do you want to cultivate? What you want to stand for?

5 What do you want to do? How do you ideally want to behave? (If a box seems irrelevant to you, that's okay: just leave it blank. If you get stuck on a box, then skip it, and come back to it later. And it's okay if the same words appear in several or all boxes: this helps you identify core values that cut through many domains of life.). Once you've done that for all boxes, go through them and in the upper small square inside each box, mark on a scale of 0-10 how important these values are to you, at this point in your life: 0=. no importance, 10= extremely important. (It's okay if several squares all have the same score.). Finally, in the lower small square inside each box, mark on a scale of 0-10 how effectively you are living by these values right now.

6 0= not at all 10= living by them fully (Again, it's okay if several squares all have the same score.). Finally have a good look at what you've written. What does this tell you about: a) What is important in your life? b) What you are currently neglecting? Parenting Personal Leisure Spirituality Growth Health work Community &. Environment Family Intimate Social Relationships Relationships Relationships Adapted with permission by New Harbinger Publications, Inc. from Living Beyond Your Pain, J. Dahl & T. Lundgren, The Problems and Values Worksheet Acceptance & Commitment Therapy aims to reduce suffering and enrich life, as shown in the diagram below. To help in this process, there are four lots of information that are particularly important.

7 These are represented in the four columns below. Between now and the next session, see what you can write in or add to each column. STRUGGLE & SUFFERING RICH & MEANINGFUL LIFE Problematic Thoughts Problematic Actions: Values: What matters to you Goals & Actions: What are And Feelings: What are you doing that in the big picture ? What you currently doing that What memories, worries, makes your life worse in the do you want to stand for? improves your life in the fears, self-criticisms, or long run: that keeps you What personal qualities and long run? What do you want other thoughts do you get stuck; wastes your time or strengths do you want to to start or do more of? What caught up in? What money; drains your energy; develop? How do you want life-enriching goals do you emotions, feelings, urges, or impacts negatively on your to enrich or improve your want to achieve?

8 What life- sensations do you struggle health or your relationships; relationships? How would enhancing actions do you with? or leads to you missing out you like to grow or want to take? What life- on life? develop, through addressing improving skills would you your issue(s) or problem(s)? like to develop? Russ Harris 2009 reprinted by permission of New Harbinger: VITALITY VS. SUFFERING DIARY. Between now and next session, keep a record of what you do when painful thoughts and feelings arise, and notice if these actions lead to increased vitality or increased suffering Painful Thoughts/ Feelings/ Urges/ Things I did - when those thoughts Things I did - when those thoughts Sensations/ Memories and feelings showed up - that lead and feelings showed up - that lead that showed up today to VITALITY ( enriched my to SUFFERING ( restricted or life, or improved my health, worsened my life, drained my wellbeing, or relationships in the health and wellbeing, or hurt my long term) relationships in the long term).

9 Russ Harris 2009 reprinted by permission of New Harbinger: JOIN THE DOTS. What are the main thoughts and feelings showing up in your life today, that are problematic for you? Write these down below under Body and Mind . Next write down everything you have ever tried to get rid of, avoid, suppress, escape or distract yourself from these thoughts or feelings. Finally consider the long term outcomes. Body Mind Feelings, sensations, urges, Thoughts, memories, beliefs, cravings, symptoms of physical illness worries, self-judgments D - Distraction: how have you tried to distract yourself from these thoughts and feelings (eg TV, shopping, etc)? O - Opting out: we often opt out (quit, avoid, or withdraw from) people, places, activities, and situations when we don't like the thoughts and feelings they bring up for us.

10 What are some of the things you opt out of? T -Thinking: how have you tried to think your way out of it? ( blaming others, worrying, rehashing the past, fantasizing, positive thinking, problem-solving, planning, self-criticism, What if?', If only ', Why me?', Not fair!', analyzing, trying to make sense of it, debating with yourself, denial, beating yourself up, etc.). S Substances, Self-harm, other Strategies: What substances have you tried putting into your body (including food and prescription medication)? Have you ever tried self-harming activities, such as suicide attempts or reckless risk-taking? Any other strategies you can think of, excessive sleeping? Did these strategies get rid of your painful thoughts and feelings in the long term so that they never came back?