The Kraybill Conflict Style Inventory - IPCRC.NET

1 The Kraybill Conflict Style Inventory E RE V IE W C O P Y. FRE m w w DIRECTING COOPERATING. COMPROMISING. AVOIDING HARMONIZING. MATTERS. The Kraybill Conflict Style Inventory By Ron Kraybill , PhD. Contents 2. 3. Tally 7..Guidelines for Interpreting Your 8..Diagram of the Five .Understanding the Conflict .Choosing Responses to .Strategies for Working with styles of .Suggestions for Reflection and Notes and E RE V IE W C O P Y. MATTERS FRE The Kraybill Conflict Style Inventory Copyright 2011. m w w 1. Ordering Information About the Author Style Matters is available printed in full color Ron Kraybill has been a leader in the field of throughout or in black and white text with Conflict resolution and peacebuilding since 1979. color cover. You can also purchase rights He was founding director of the Mennonite to reproduce at modest cost and print your Conciliation Service, Akron, Pennsylvania, 1979-1988. He spent the years 1989-1995.

2 Own copies. A fully automated web version as Director of Training and head of special with a detailed report tailored to your scores projects at the Centre for Conflict Resolution in and features not found in the print versions is Cape Town and as training advisor to the South available online. For all pricing and ordering African National Peace Accord. He was a information, visit professor in the Conflict Transformation Program com. Or contact us by phone at 202-580-8656. at Eastern Mennonite University 1995-2006. or email at From 2007 to 2009 he was an independent Leading a Workshop? consultant in Jerusalem, Ramallah, and You can get a free Trainers Guide to Amman. Since 2009 he has been a Peace and Successful Conflict styles Workshops Development Advisor for the United Nations. from Riverhouse. Send a request to: Other books by Kraybill include: Peace Skills: A Manual for Community Mediators (Jossey- Bass, 2001); Cool Tools for Hot Topics: Group An eighteen-page PDF document with Tools to Facilitate Meetings When Things are clear step-by-step instructions will be Hot (Good Books, 2007), and Restoring Those sent to you immediately by return email.

3 Who Help Others: Spirituality and Self-Care Style Matters Online for Those in Danger of Burnout (In press). The interactive Style Matters Online on the See for his essays Riverhouse web site offers automated scoring and a blog on peace processes. and features an emailable, four page score report summarizing key findings for each user. More Resources on Conflict styles For a large number of essays on Conflict styles , culture and Conflict , and resources for trainers, Copyright 2005 Ron Kraybill Revised 2008, 2010, 2011 go to the Riverhouse website. On the front ISBN 0-9755071-2-5 page of the site, click on the Resources section Riverhouse ePress, Harrisonburg, VA. in the left menu. MATTERS The Kraybill Conflict Style Inventory Copyright 2011. 2. Introduction We all experience painful differences with With that picture in hand, you can make others as a part of living. Perhaps more than conscious choices in responding to others any other challenge in life, our ability to work when things are tense.

4 You can build on your out differences with others affects our ability to strengths and improve on your weaknesses. live well and be happy. Yet most of us get little You can assess responses of other people and thoughtful guidance from parents and teachers deal more constructively with them. on how to do this. We figure out a few things by trial and error, but we are often confused and Bear in mind as you answer the questions in the hurt by what happens in conflicts . next few pages: - There are no "right" or "wrong" answers. Style Matters: The Kraybill Conflict Style Inventory gives specific, practical help for - No test is perfect, including this one. dealing with differences. In a handful of pages, - No one is "set in stone", including you. you will get more help than most of us get in a lifetime of learning. This information can help The questions and your scores are only the you understand confusing situations and make beginning of the learning process.

5 Thoughtful a real difference in the quality of relationships in self-reflection and conversation with others home, school, work, and community settings. about what happens in Conflict can teach a great deal more. Style Matters will help you to do that So how do you respond to Conflict ? Most people and to think about what really matters: aren't sure how to answer. It is often easier to describe how others respond than how we ourselves respond. How to respond most constructively to the disagreements and conflicts in your life Style Matters gives you a snapshot of yourself. tomorrow? E RE V IE W C O P Y. MATTERS FRE The Kraybill Conflict Style Inventory Copyright 2011. m w w 3. Instructions for Getting Started You can take this Inventory in one of two ways. If situations. Instructions A result in a broad sketch of you live and work in a cultural setting known as your behavior in general. Instructions B result in a individualist (also sometimes referred to as low specific snapshot of your behavior in one context context for reasons you can read about in Note 1 only, and you may want to later take the Inventory on page 22), the context in which Conflict takes place a second or third time with other contexts in mind to is not so important.

6 People in these settings see get snapshots of yourself in several settings. Conflict as a matter between individuals that requires only moderate awareness of status, roles, community customs, etc. They feel free to respond as they Instruction Set A - General Sketch wish when there is disagreement, no matter who is Think about your typical response when your involved. If this sounds like your life, Instructions A wishes differ with those of another person. Questions will probably work best for you. A-J deal with your response to disagreement in the beginning stages, when you have not yet grown On the other hand, if you live and work in a setting frustrated or greatly upset. Questions K-T deal with known as collectivist (or high context ), chances are your response after the disagreement has gotten you have a strong instinct to first examine the context stronger. Though there may be exceptions, what of a problem before responding.

7 In such settings, is typical for you? Your gut-level response to the social status, age, roles, and the expectations of question is likely to be the most accurate. For each others have a big voice in deciding responses. question, choose the number between 1 and 7 that Specific information about the context must be known best describes what you actually do. before answering questions about what to do in Conflict . If this sounds like your life, Instructions B. Instruction Set B - Context-Specific Snapshot may feel more realistic for you, since they guide you Choose a context for answering the questions. to select one specific Conflict or kind of relationship Select a person or particular kind of relationship (for and hold it in mind as you take the Inventory . example, co-workers of same status as you, personal Many people operate in mixed settings so either friends, a committee in your religious community, etc.). instruction set could work.

8 Welcome to the with whom you have experienced disagreements or complexities of modern living! You can learn more Conflict . Hold this situation in your mind, or ones about the differences between the two modes on similar to it, as you answer the questions. Questions Note 1 on page 22, as well as cultures/regions of A-J deal with disagreements in the beginning stages, the world often associated with each. If you are when you have not yet grown frustrated or greatly undecided, we recommend Instructions B. They upset. Questions K-T deal with your response after work for everyone, regardless of background, so things have gotten more difficult. For each question, long as you remember that the picture of yourself choose the number between 1 and 7 that is most they yield at the end cannot be generalized to other accurate in describing what you actually do. MATTERS The Kraybill Conflict Style Inventory Copyright 2011. 4. Calm Settings When I first discover that differences exist and feelings are not yet high.

9 A. So long as feelings are still under control, I push to bring our differences out into the open and try to find a solution that benefits both of us. 1. e 2. s o f S t 3. y l e M atters 4 5 6 7. RARELY. Fea tu r USUALLY. lida vaescalated rchnot ted. - Reseahas B. If the disagreement to a high level, u settin ural than ltrather gs. I focus on achieving what is important r d iv e rs e to c me worrying about what's important to the other person. - Su itable fo of ; no p5 urcha6se 1. - Clea r2 expla3nation4s 7. RARELY USUALLY. d. terials require additional ma up C. When feelings are still low-key, q u e s ti o n s p rovided for gro - Discuthat I look for a compromise n each of us a little of what we want. ssiogives 1 2 3 4 5 6 7. work. load. RARELY. G u id e a v a il able for down USUALLY. - Free Trainers availaaway ble w ith D. I try to head off trouble before it rs e V e begins io n a ls by o steering from difficult issues.

10 - Onli2 n e detailed 5 pag 1 3 4 5 6 7. s c o ri n g a n d RARELY. automated a s USUALLY. y d o n u s e r's scores. E. ase score report b E. In a mild disagreement, rt to er or in uswishes trainer. o f re p o I am likely to go along emailing with the other person's order to keep things peaceful. 1 2 3 4 5 le. 6 7. e d to b e a c c essib RARELY - Pric USUALLY. F When I am in a disagreement but my emotions are not yet fully aroused, I give priority to harmony and set aside my personal preferences as necessary to achieve peace. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7. RARELY USUALLY. G. When the disagreement is still low-key, I put as much effort into understanding the other side's views as I put into explaining my own. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7. RARELY USUALLY. E RE V IE W C O P Y. MATTERS FRE The Kraybill Conflict Style Inventory Copyright 2011. m w w 5. H. If tension is not yet high, I focus more on making sure that my opinions are heard than on keeping the other person happy.