The Phantom Tollbooth

1 The PhantomTollboothNORTON JUSTERI llustrated by Jules FeifferTo Andy and Kenny,who waited so Books are published by Random House, Inc. First Wind-ward Silverback Edition, October 1972. Originally published by Ep-stein & Carroll Associates, Inc., in 1961 and subsequently publishedby Random House, Inc., in Copyright 1961 by Norton JusterIllustrations Copyright 1961 by Jules FeifferAll rights reserved under International and Pan-American CopyrightConventions. Published in the United States by Random House, Inc.,New York, and in Canada by Random House of Canada Limited, : 0-394-82199-8 Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 61-13202 Manufactured in the United States of AmericaCONTENTS1. Milo 92. Beyond Expectations 163. Welcome to Dictionopolis 324.

2 Confusion in the Market Place 455. Short Shrift 586. Faintly Macabre's Story 717. The Royal Banquet 808. The Humbug Volunteers 929. It's All in How You Look at Things 10110. A Colorful Symphony 10911. Dischord and Dynne 12712. The Silent Valley 14413. Unfortunate Conclusions 16014. The Dodecahedron Leads the Way 17115. This Way to Infinity 18416. A Very Dirty Bird 19317. Unwelcoming Committee 21118. Castle in the Air 22419. The Return of Rhyme and Reason 23720.

3 Good-bye and Hello 2531. MiloThere was once a boy named Milo who didn't knowwhat to do with himself not just sometimes, but he was in school he longed to be out, and whenhe was out he longed to be in. On the way he thoughtabout coming home, and coming home he thought aboutgoing. Wherever he was he wished he were somewhereelse, and when he got there he wondered why he'd both-ered. Nothing really interested him least of all thethings that should have."It seems to me that almost everything is a waste oftime," he remarked one day as he walked dejectedlyhome from school. "I can't see the point in learning tosolve useless problems, or subtracting turnips from tur-nips, or knowing where Ethiopia is or how to spell Feb-ruary." And, since no one bothered to explain otherwise,he regarded the process of seeking knowledge as thegreatest waste of time of he and his unhappy thoughts hurried along (forwhile he was never anxious to be where he was going,he liked to get there as quickly as possible) it seemed agreat wonder that the world, which was so large, couldsometimes feel so small and empty.

4 "And worst of all," he continued sadly, "there's noth-ing for me to do, nowhere I'd care to go, and hardly any-thing worth seeing." He punctuated this last thoughtwith such a deep sigh that a house sparrow singingnearby stopped and rushed home to be with his stopping or looking up, he rushed past thebuildings and busy shops that lined the street and in afew minutes reached home dashed through the lobby hopped onto the elevator two, three, four, five, six,seven, eight, and off again opened the apartment door rushed into his room flopped dejectedly into a chair,and grumbled softly, "Another long afternoon."He looked glumly at all the things he owned. Thebooks that were too much trouble to read, the tools he'dnever learned to use, the small electric automobile hehadn't driven in months or was it years? and the hun-dreds of other games and toys, and bats and balls, andbits and pieces scattered around him.

5 And then, to oneside of the room, just next to the phonograph, he noticedsomething he had certainly never seen could possibly have left such an enormous pack-age and such a strange one? For, while it was not quitesquare, it was definitely not round, and for its size it waslarger than almost any other big package of smallerdimension that he'd ever to one side was a bright-blue envelopewhich said simply: "FOR MILO, WHO HAS PLENTYOF TIME."Of course, if you've ever gotten a surprise package,you can imagine how puzzled and excited Milo was; andif you've never gotten one, pay close attention, becausesomeday you might."I don't think it's my birthday," he puzzled, "andChristmas must be months away, and I haven't been out-standingly good, or even good at all." (He had to admitthis even to himself.) "Most probably I won't like it any-way, but since I don't know where it came from, I can'tpossibly send it back.

6 " He thought about it for quite awhile and then opened the envelope, but just to be po-lite."ONE GENUINE TURNPIKE Tollbooth ," itstated and then it went on:"EASILY ASSEMBLED AT HOME, AND FOR USEBY THOSE WHO HAVE NEVER TRAVELED INLANDS BEYOND.""Beyond what?" thought Milo as he continued to read."THIS PACKAGE CONTAINS THE FOLLOWINGITEMS:"One (1) genuine turnpike Tollbooth to be erectedaccording to directions."Three (3) precautionary signs to be used in a pre-cautionary fashion."Assorted coins for use in paying tolls."One (1) map, up to date and carefully drawn by mas-ter cartographers, depicting natural and man-madefeatures."One (1) book of rules and traffic regulations, whichmay not be bent or broken."And in smaller letters at the bottom it concluded:"Results are not guaranteed, but if not perfectly satis-fied, your wasted time will be refunded.

7 "Following the instructions, which told him to cut here,lift there, and fold back all around, he soon had the toll-booth unpacked and set up on its stand. He fitted thewindows in place and attached the roof, which extendedout on both sides and fastened on the coin box. It wasvery much like the tollbooths he'd seen many times onfamily trips, except of course it was much smaller andpurple."What a strange present," he thought to himself. "Theleast they could have done was to send a highway withit, for it's terribly impractical without one." But since, atthe time, there was nothing else he wanted to play with,he set up the three signs,SLOW DOWN APPROACHING TOLLBOOTHPLEASE HAVE YOUR FARE READYHAVE YOUR DESTINATION IN MINDand slowly unfolded the the announcement stated, it was a beautiful map,in many colors, showing principal roads, rivers and seas,towns and cities, mountains and valleys, intersectionsand detours, and sites of outstanding interest bothbeautiful and only trouble was that Milo had never heard ofany of the places it indicated, and even the namessounded most peculiar.

8 "I don't think there really is such a country," he con-cluded after studying it carefully. "Well, it doesn't mat-ter anyway." And he closed his eyes and poked a fingerat the map."Dictionopolis," read Milo slowly when he saw whathis finger had chosen. "Oh, well, I might as well go thereas anywhere."He walked across the room and dusted the car off care-fully. Then, taking the map and rule book with him, hehopped in and, for lack of anything better to do, droveslowly up to the Tollbooth . As he deposited his coin androlled past he remarked wistfully, "I do hope this is aninteresting game, otherwise the afternoon will be so ter-ribly dull."2. Beyond ExpectationsSuddenly he found himself speeding along an unfa-miliar country highway, and as he looked back over hisshoulder neither the Tollbooth nor his room nor even thehouse was anywhere in sight.

9 What had started as make-believe was now very real."What a strange thing to have happen," he thought(just as you must be thinking right now). "This game ismuch more serious than I thought, for here I am ridingon a road I've never seen, going to a place I've neverheard of, and all because of a Tollbooth which came fromnowhere. I'm certainly glad that it's a nice day for a trip,"he concluded hopefully, for, at the moment, this was theone thing he definitely sun sparkled, the sky was clear, and all the colorshe saw seemed to be richer and brighter than he couldever remember. The flowers shone as if they'd beencleaned and polished, and the tall trees that lined theroad shimmered in silvery green."WELCOME TO EXPECTATIONS," said a carefullylettered sign on a small house at the side of the road."INFORMATION, PREDICTIONS, AND ADVICECHEERFULLY OFFERED.

10 PARK HERE ANDBLOW HORN."With the first sound from the horn a little man in along coat came rushing from the house, speaking as fastas he could and repeating everything several times:"My, my, my, my, my, welcome, welcome, welcome,welcome to the land of Expectations, to the land of Ex-pectations, to the land of Expectations. We don't getmany travelers these days; we certainly don't get manytravelers these days. Now what can I do for you? I'm theWhether Man."Is this the right road for Dictionopolis?" asked Milo,a little bowled over by the effusive greeting."Well now, well now, well now," he began again, "Idon't know of any wrong road to Dictionopolis, so if thisroad goes to Dictionopolis at all it must be the right road,and if it doesn't it must be the right road to somewhereelse, because there are no wrong roads to anywhere.