THE RULES OF LOVE - pearsoncmg.com

1 THERULES OFLOVEThis page intentionally left blank THERULES OFLOVERICHARD TEMPLARVice President, Publisher: Tim MooreAssociate Publisher and Director of Marketing: Amy NeidlingerAcquisitions Editor: Martha CooleyEditorial Assistant: Pamela BolandOperations Manager and Development Editor: Gina KanouseDigital Marketing Manager: Julie PhiferPublicity Manager: Laura Czaja (if applicable)Assistant Marketing Manager: Megan ColvinMarketing Assistant: Brandon SmithCover Designer: Sandra SchroederManaging Editor: Kristy HartProject Editor: Lori LyonsProofreader: San Dee PhillipsSenior Compositor: Gloria SchurickManufacturing Buyer: Dan Uhrig 2009 by Pearson Education, as FT PressUpper Saddle River, New Jersey 07458FT Press offers excellent discounts on this book when ordered in quantity for bulkpurchases or special sales.

2 For more information, please contact Corporateand Government Sales, 1-800-382-3419, sales outside the , please contact International Sales and product names mentioned herein are the trademarks or registeredtrademarks of their respective rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, in any form or by anymeans, without permission in writing from the in the United States of AmericaFirst Printing November 2008 ISBN-10: 0-13-714996-4 ISBN-13: 978-0-13-714996-4 Pearson Education Education Australia PTY, Education Singapore, Pte. Education North Asia, Education Canada, Educati n de Mexico, de Education JapanPearson Education Malaysia, Pte.

3 Of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication DataTemplar, Richard, RULES of love / Richard : 978-0-13-714996-4 (pbk. : alk. paper)ISBN-10: 0-13-714996-4 (pbk. : alk. paper) 1. Interpersonal love . I. Title..xiiPart IRules for Finding love ..11Be Yourself ..42 Get Over It Before You Get on with It ..53 You Won t Be Happy with a Partner Until YouCan Be Happy on Your Own ..84 You ll Know Them When You Meet Them ..105 Choose Someone Who Makes You Laugh ..126 Being Less than a Hundred PercentAttractive Is a Great Filter ..147 Don t Keep Making the Same Mistakes.

4 168 Certain People Are Off Limits (You Know Who They Are) ..189 You Can t Change People ..2010 Relationships Aren t About Sex ..2211 You Should Know Someone Through All theSeasons Before You Make Any Major Decisions ..2412 Don t Stay with Someone Who Doesn t Care ..2613If You Can t Trust Them, You Haven t Got aRelationship ..2814Be Honest (While You Still Have the Chance) ..3015 Don t Play Games ..3216 Don t Paint New Partners with Old Brushes ..34vContents17 Make Sure You Both Have the SameShared Goals ..3618 You Can t Make Someone love You ..3819Be Cruel to Be Kind.

5 40 Part IIRules of Relationships ..4320Be Nice ..4621Be Together Because You Want to,Not Because You Need To ..4822 Allow Your Partner the Space to Be Themselves ..5023 Look to Your Own Faults ..5224Be Honorable ..5425 Put Each Other First ..5626 Recognize the Signs ..5827Be a Hero or a Heroine ..6028 Accept the Differences, Embrace WhatYou Have in Common ..6229 Houston, We Have a Problem ..6430 You Want to Do What? ..6631 Let Not the Sun Go Down Upon Your Wrath ..6832Be the First to Say Sorry ..7033 Don t Belittle Your Partner ..7234 Don t Put Them on a Pedestal and ExpectThem to Stay There.

6 7435 Don t Dump Responsibility on Your Partner ..7636 Never Stop Trying to Be Attractive ..7837If You Can Say Anything Nice, Do ..80viTHE RULES OF LOVE38 Don t Try to Be Their Parent ..8239 Don t Be a Nag ..8440If Little Things Annoy You, Say So with Humor ..8641Go that Extra Step in Trying to Please Them ..8842 Make Sure Your Partner Is Always Pleasedto See You ..9043 Know When to Listen and When to Act ..9244 Let Them Know If You Don t Like Their Friends ..9445 Jealousy Is Your Stuff, Not Theirs ..9646 Your Partner Is More Important than Your Kids ..9847 Make Time for Romance.

7 10048 Have a Passion for Your Life Together ..10249 Share the Workload ..10450 Trust the Other One to Do the Job ..10651Be Part of Their Life ..10852 Make Sure Your love Making Is Making love ..11053 Don t Control Them .. 11254 Listen to What They re Not Saying ..11455 Most Everyday Arguments Are AboutSomething Else ..11656 Respect Privacy ..11857 Treat Your Partner Better than Your Best Friend ..12058 Don t Be Offended If They Want Some Space ..12259 Men Like Flowers, Too ..12460 Keep Your Finances Separate ..12661 Contentment Is a High Aim ..12862Be Generous to Each Other Financially.

8 130viiCONTENTS viiiTHE RULES OF LOVE63 You Make a Choice Every Day ..13264 Don t Be a Martyr ..13465 You Don t Both Have to Have the Same RULES ..13666 Put Yourself in Their Shoes ..13867In-Laws Are Part of the Package ..14068 Keep Talking ..142 Part IIIR ules of Parting ..14569 Listen to Your Own Internal Voice ..14870 Recognize That It Takes Two ..15071 Keep the Moral High Ground ..15272 Don t Keep Reliving It Over and Over ..15473 Leave the Kids Out of It ..156 Part IVRules for Family ..15974 Don t Blame Your Parents ..16275 Don t Let Your Parents Control Your Feelings.

9 16476 Your Children Come Before You ..16677 Nothing Is Worth Falling Out Over ..16878 Treat Them the Way You Believe Is Right,No Matter How They Treat You ..17079 Don t Pressure Your Family Just BecauseYou Can ..17280 Never Be Too Busy for Loved Ones ..17481 Your Children Need to Fall Out with Youto Leave Home ..17682 They Don t Have to Be the Same as You ..17883 There s Always Stuff with Siblings ..18084 Let Go of Your Role .. 182 Part VRules of Friendship ..18585 There Are No RULES ..18886 Your Best Friend Was Once a Stranger ..19087 Only Have People in Your Life Who MakeIt Better, Not Worse.

10 19288If You re Going to Be a Friend,Be a Good Friend ..19489 Never Give Advice ..19690 Find Friends Who love the Truth ..19891 Never Lend Money Unless You re Prepared to Write It Off ..20092If You Don t Like Their Partner, Tough ..20293 When One Finger Points Forward,Three Point Back ..20494 Friendships Change ..20695 Know When to Let Go ..20896 Bitterness Helps No One ..210 Part VIRules for Everyone ..21397 Guilt Is a Selfish Emotion ..21698 love Equals Time ..21899 The More You Give, the More You Get Back ..220100 Other People Are Where It s At ..2221ixCONTENTSThis page intentionally left blank xiTo my best friend, lover, companion, partner, and soulmate,(You know who you are)IntroductionxiiTHE RULES OFLove.