1 Conflict . Management . IN THE Workplace . Some related titles from How to Books Conducting Staff Appraisals How to set up a review system that will ensure fair and effective appraisal and improve individual performance and organisational results How to be a Motivational Manager An essential guide for leaders and managers who need to get fast results with minimum stress The Pocket Media Coach The handy guide to getting your message across on TV, radio or in print Killer Presentations Power the imagination to visualise your point with PowerPoint Developing Mental Toughness Gold Medal Strategies for transforming your business performance howtobooks Please send for a free copy of the latest catalogue: Spring Hill House, Spring Hill Road, Begbroke, Oxford OX5 1RX, United Kingdom Conflict .
2 Management . IN THE Workplace . D AND U. SE. I. PD. REV. AT E D..THI. N. R. D. EDITIO. How to manage disagreements and develop trust and understanding SHAY & MARGARET. McCONNON. howtobooks Published by How To Content, A division of How To Books Ltd, Spring Hill House, Spring Hill Road, Begbroke Oxford OX5 1RX. United Kingdom Tel: (01865) 375794. Fax: (01865) 379162. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced or stored in an information retrieval system (other than for purposes of review) without the express permission of the publisher in writing. The right of Shay and Margaret McConnon to be identified as the authors of this work has been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
3 2008 Shay and Margaret McConnon First edition 2002. Second edition 2004, Third edition 2008. First published in electronic form 2008. British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data. A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library. ISBN: 978 1 84803 249 1. Cover design by Baseline Arts Ltd, Oxford Produced for How To Books by Deer Park Productions, Tavistock Typeset and design by Baseline Arts Ltd, Oxford NOTE: The material contained in this book is set out in good faith for general guidance and no liability can be accepted for loss or expense incurred as a result of relying in particular circumstances on statements made in this book. Laws and regulations are complex and liable to change, and readers should check the current position with the relevant authorities before making personal arrangements.
4 We have attempted to acknowledge all known sources. We apologise for any that have been missed. Please contact us so that we can include an acknowledgement in the next edition. Contents About the Authors 8. Preface 11. Introduction: 15. Language for Conflict or co-operation? 1 How the View Explains our Differences 21. This chapter recognizes that each of us has our unique window on the world, which is subjective, partial and likely to be distorted. This can explain why we are different from and often difficult for each other. 2 Differences in Personality Types 31. The reader is introduced to the four basic personality types and typical sources of tension across the styles. The reader also discovers that strengths can be experienced as weaknesses.
5 3 Fight the Difference or Celebrate it? Is Conflict inevitable? Can Conflict be constructive? This 41. chapter suggests that Conflict comes more from the Management of these differences than from the differences themselves. Understand why rows can spiral out of control. 4 Are you Building a Bridge or a Barrier? 53. Explore the win win and the win lose mindsets and the consequences of these approaches. Discover the language that fuels Conflict and find out how you' and 'I'. can become we'. 5 Understand and Manage your Feelings 61. This chapter gives some practical ways to defuse your own anger and to manage the feelings of others. Know when to take time out. 6 Develop your Skills and Increase Your Choices 69.
6 Discover the three key skills for managing Conflict . Learn how to listen acceptingly, talk constructively and negotiate successfully. Also ways to disagree and keep rapport. 5. Conflict Management IN THE Workplace . 7 Four Steps to Resolution 93. Do you want to manage differences in open and honest ways without Conflict or argument? This four-step model gives you the language and the processing for win-win. The steps' will reduce defensiveness, deepen understanding and create collaboration. Learn to deal with power plays. 8 Preventing Conflict 109. This chapter shows you how to nip Conflict in the bud. Discover ways to deal with the irritations and minor tensions rather than let them fester. Appendices 114.
7 The appendices include a questionnaire to help you discover your preferred Conflict Management style and a collection of other tools to enable you to turn difficult situations around. There is also a case study showing symptoms of organizational Conflict low morale and a high turnover of staff. The study demonstrates how using the processes and language of the steps' enables staff and Management to listen, understand and work towards a mutual solution. 1 What's Your Style? 115. 2 Resolution Route 117. 3 Handling Accusations 118. 4 Group Conflict 119. 5 Listen and Talk 120. 6 At a Glance 121. 7 Case Study 123. 8 Successful Mediation 129. Bibliography 133. Index 135. Conflict Resolution Workshop 137. 6.
8 This book offers many tried and tested approaches to ensure that conflicts are managed so that they are positive and creative rather than a process of discrimination.. SIR JOHN HARVEY-JONES. Your Conflict Resolution Workshops have given staff a greater understanding of themselves. Consequently we now have much improved relationships within the company and with our customers.. DAVID CARTER, MANAGING DIRECTOR, SIEMENS. Conflict resolution is a big part of my work. The techniques and skills in this book have helped me and my team, freeing up precious time for us to be more productive.. RICHARD SHEARD, CHIEF EXECUTIVE, SALISBURY DISTRICT COUNCIL. The is the best on communication, leadership and understanding people I.
9 Have ever seen, and believe me, I have seen a lot.. A. ROBBINS, TRAINER. This readable and accessible book looks at how to resolve Conflict , and how to avoid it in the first place.. THE TIMES. 7. About the Authors Shay and Margaret McConnon spent 15 years in Special Education teaching young people who had emotional and behavioural difficulties. They developed programmes to enhance the self- worth of these students and improve their social skills. These programmes were written up and are now a series of twelve titles ranging from Conflict Resolution to Self Esteem. These books continue to form the basis of many Personal and Social Education Programmes across the English speaking world. In 1988 they founded People First, an international training and consultancy group that specialises in leadership and culture change programmes.
10 People First is best known for An Even Better Place to Work. This is the world's first on line culture and behaviour change programme. It is being used by leading companies around the world to create happy, motivated and well led staff. Margaret specialises in one to one work and couple counselling. She is the co-author of workshop materials and trains on people issues within education and the service sectors. 8. Shay speaks regularly at conferences on people issues in the Workplace . He has been awarded a fellowship by the Professional Speakers Association and voted best new speaker by Vistage, the world's largest organisation for CEOs. His keynotes are packed with practical, workable ideas and he uses magic to illustrate the learnings in a fun and memorable way.