The Black Phone - Weebly

1 7,250 WordsThe Black PhonebyJoe fat man on the other side of the road was about todrop his groceries. He had a paper bag in each arm, and wasstruggling to jam a key into the back door of his sat on the front steps of Poole s Hardware, a bottleof grape soda in one hand, watching it all. The fat man wasgoing to lose his groceries the moment he got the dooropen. The one in his left arm was already sliding wasn t any kind of fat, but grotesquely fat. Hishead had been shaved to a glossy polish, and there were twoplump folds of skin where his neck met the base of hisskull. He wore a loud Hawaiian shirt toucans nestledamong hanging creepers although it was too cool forshort-sleeves.

2 The wind had a brisk edge, so that Finneywas always hunching and turning his face away from it. Hewasn t dressed for the weather either. It would ve mademore sense for him to wait for his father inside, only JohnFinney didn t like the way old Tremont Poole was alwayseyeballing him, half-glaring, as if he expected him toThe Black 2break or shoplift something. Finney only went in for grapesoda, which he had to have, it was an lock popped and the rear door of the van sprangopen. What happened next was such a perfect bit ofslapstick it might have been practiced and only later didit occur to Finney that probably it had been.

3 The back ofthe van contained a gathering of balloons, and the momentthe door was open, they shoved their way out in a thrusting themselves at the fat man, who reacted asif he had no idea they would be there. He leaped back. Thebag under his left arm fell, hit the ground, split rolled crazily this way and that. The fat manwobbled and his sunglasses slipped off his face. Herecovered and hopped on his toes, snatching at theballoons, but it was already too late, they were sailingaway, out of fat man cursed and waved a hand at them in agesture of angry dismissal. He turned away, squinted at theground and then sank to his knees.

4 He set his other bag inthe back of the van and began to explore the pavement withhis hands, feeling for his glasses. He put a hand down onan egg, which splintered beneath his palm. He grimaced,shook his hand in the air. Shiny strings of egg whitespattered off then, Finney was already trotting across the road,left his soda behind on the stoop. Help mister? The Black 3 The fat man peered blearily up at him without seemingto see him. Did you observe that bullshit? Finney glanced down the road. The balloons were thirtyfeet off the ground by now, following the double line alongthe middle of the road.

5 They were all of them, asblack as sealskin. Yeah. Yeah, I he said, and then his voice trailedoff and he frowned, watching the balloons bobbing into thelow overcast of the sky. The sight of them disturbed him insome way. No one wanted Black balloons; what were they goodfor, anyway? Festive funerals? He stared, brieflytransfixed, thinking of poisoned grapes. He moved histongue around in his mouth, and noticed for the first timethat his beloved grape soda left a disagreeable metallicaftertaste, a taste like he had been chewing an exposedcopper fat man brought him out of it.

6 See my glasses? Finney lowered himself to one knee, leaned forward tolook beneath the van. The fat man s glasses were under thebumper. Got em, he said, stretching an arm past the fatman s leg to pick them up. What were the balloons for? I m a part-time clown, said the fat man. He wasreaching into the van, getting something out of the paperbag he had set down there. Call me Al. Hey, you want tosee something funny? The Black 4 Finney glanced up, had time to see Al holding a steelcan, yellow and Black , with pictures of wasps on it. He wasshaking it furiously. Finney began to smile, had the wildidea that Al was about to spray him with silly part-time clown hit him in the face with a blastof white foam.

7 Finney started to turn his head away, butwas too slow to avoid getting it in his eyes. He screamedand took some in the mouth, tasted something harsh andchemical. His eyes were coals, cooking in their throat burned, in his entire life he had never felt anypain like it, a searing icy-heat. His stomach heaved andthe grape soda came back up in a hot, sweet had him by the back of the neck and was pulling himforward, into the van. Finney s eyes were open but all hecould see were pulsations of orange and oily brown thatflared, dripped, ran into one another and faded. The fatman had a fistful of his hair and another hand between hislegs, scooping him up by the crotch.

8 The inside of Al s armbrushed his cheek. Finney turned his head and bit down on amouthful of wobbling fat, squeezed until he tasted fat man wailed and let go and for a moment Finneyhad his feet on the ground again. He stepped back and puthis heel on an orange. His ankle folded. He tottered,almost fell and then the fat man had him by the neck shoved him forward. Finney hit one of the van s reardoors, head-first, with a low bonging sound, and all thestrength went out of his Black 5 Albert had an arm under his chest, tipped him forward,into a coal chute. Then he let go, and Finney dropped, witha horrifying velocity, into door banged open.

9 His feet and knees were slidingacross linoleum. He couldn t see much, was pulled throughdarkness toward a faint fluttering moth of gray light thatwas always dancing away from him. Another door went crashand he was dragged down a flight of stairs. His kneesclubbed each step on the way said, Fucking arm. I ought to snap your neck rightnow, what you did to my arm. Finney thought of resisting. They were distant,abstract thoughts. He heard a bolt turn, and he was pulledthrough a last door, across cement, and finally to amattress. Al flipped him onto it. The world did a slow,nauseating roll.

10 Finney sprawled on his back and waited forthe feeling of motion sickness to sat down beside him, panting for breath. Jesus, I m covered in blood. Like I killed at this arm, he said. Then he laughed, husky,disbelieving laughter. Not that you can see anything. Neither of them spoke, and an awful silence settledupon the room. Finney shook continuously, had beenshivering steadily, more or less since Black 6At last Albert spoke. I know you re scared of me, butI won t hurt you anymore. What I said about I ought to snapyour neck, I was just angry. You did a number on my arm,but I won t hold it against you.