The Day the Crayons Quit

1 The Day the Crayons quit : A theatrical adaptation of the book by Drew Daywalt Lights up on stage. Duncan is sitting at a desk stage right; Narrator is front/center stage. NARRATOR: Once upon a time, there was a boy named Duncan. Many of you are as young as Duncan would have or at least as young at heart. Duncan enjoyed the finer things in life, such as a nice, cold glass of chocolate milk, a bright sunny day ripe for exploration, and his extensive collection of Pok mon cards. But what Duncan loved most of was art. DUNCAN: I will be the greatest artist who ever lived! Step aside, Picasso! Vincent, get Van-Goghing! I am Duncan, master scribbler! King of Doodle-land! NARRATOR: Duncan enjoyed painting, a charcoal sketch here and he d even branched out into some very post-modern sculpture for his tender age. But what Duncan enjoyed most of all was to draw with his tool of choice a box of Crayons . DUNCAN: Crayons ! Of all the art supplies, you are the BEST!

2 You re like 2% chocolate milk straight out of the carton! You re like the sunniest day of summer! You you re like the best Pok mon card in my Charizard, obviously. Crayons , you re my all-time favourites! NARRATOR: Duncan liked the way Crayons smelled. He liked the way their coloured wax looked on a sheet of paper. He liked that when their tips became dull, he just had to peel away a piece of their paper wrapping and keep right on colouring. There was really nothing Duncan didn t like about in fact; you might say that Duncan thought of his Crayons as old friends. DUNCAN: (putting Crayons back in a box) Alright, guys. See you tomorrow. NARRATOR: That until the day the Crayons quit ! (Enter all Crayons with picket signs, grumpy and bickering with each other) YELLOW CRAYON & GRAY CRAYON: (chanting) We re not ha-ppy! We re not ha-ppy! PINK CRAYON: Down with this sort of thing! BLACK CRAYON: Booooo! BEIGE CRAYON: I ve had it! I DRAW the LINE!

3 PURPLE CRAYON: Womp wommmmp BEIGE CRAYON: Ha no pun intended, but you have to admit, that wasn t bad. (Winks) PINK: Ugh. Could you be any more annoying!? BEIGE: Well, as a matter of fact, PEACH: I m pretty sure that was a rhetorical question, bud. WHITE CRAYON & RED CRAYON: Rhetori-whaaaa? BLUE: Rhetorical! It RED: Oh, of course YOUUU D have an answer, Mr. I m-blue-and-I-know-everrryything! Orange and Yellow Crayons walk past each other without speaking GREEN CRAYON: You guys, please! I simply can t work in these conditions! ORANGE: Who can! Things are a scribbly mess around here! Yellow Crayon mocks Orange Crayon NARRATOR: Duncan hadn t seen it coming, but it seems that things in the crayon box were not all sunshine and rainbows after all. You see, what happened was, on the day they quit , Duncan went to take out his Crayons and found a stack of letters with his name on them. Narrator exits stage left. DUNCAN: Helloooo Duncan!

4 You ve got MAIL! Call me Captain Popularity! Secretly Admired! I am the Post Officer! Ok, but who wrote these? Hello? Anyone? Duncan sits down at his desk and opens the first letter in the stack. Red Crayon enters from stage left. RED CRAYON: Hey Duncan. It s me, Red Crayon. We need to talk. You make me work harder than any of your other Crayons . All year long I wear myself out colouring fire engines, apples, strawberries and EVERYTHING ELSE that s RED! I even work hard on HOLIDAYS! I have to colour all the Santa s at Christmas and ALL the hearts on Valentine s Day! I need a rest! Your overworked friend, Red Crayon. NARRATOR: Duncan was startled by what he read. A letter a crayon!? So much for a declaration of love from the cute girl in his Science class, or an invite to a top secret weekend Pok mon tournament. DUNCAN: Man! Just when I thought my life-excitement levels were about to get seriously amped up, I get a scarlet letter from a hunk of wax!

5 ? NARRATOR: But as he read the letter again, Duncan s disappointment softened. He hadn t realized that Red Crayon was worn out. Duncan took a deep breath, Pause while Duncan takes a deep breath Opened the next letter Pause as Duncan opens the letter And read PURPLE CRAYON: Dear Duncan. All right. Listen. I love that I m your favourite crayon for grapes, dragons, and wizard s hats, but it makes me crazy that so much of my gorgeous colour goes outside the lines. If you DON T START COLOURING INSIDE the lines I M GOING TO COMPLETELY LOSE IT! Your very neat friend, Purple Crayon. DUNCAN: Ok, draaamaaaa! Some people would call that abstract flare, you know. PURPLE CRAYON: I am NOT Jackson POLLOCK! PEACH CRAYON: HA! Good one! Peach Crayon hi-fives Purple Crayon DUNCAN: Sheesh! Alright, already. Who s BEIGE CRAYON: Dear Duncan. I m tired of being called light brown or dark tan because I am neither. I am BEIGE and I am proud. I m also tired of being second place to Mr.

6 Brown Crayon. It s not fair that brown crayon gets all the bears, ponies and puppies while the only things I get are turkey dinners (if I m lucky) and wheat, and let s be honest when was the last time you saw a kid excited about colouring wheat? Your BEIGE friend, Beige Crayon. NARRATOR: Duncan realized that Beige Crayon did have a point. Ever since that whole gluten-free thing had started, it didn t seem like too many people got excited about wheat any more at all. Duncan sighs, puts Beige Crayon s letter on the floor, and opens the next GRAY CRAYON: Duncan. GRAY CRAYON here. You re KILLING ME! I know you love elephants. And I know that elephants are but that s a LOT of space to colour in all by myself. And don t even get me started on your rhinos, hippos, and HUMPBACK You know how tired I am after handling one of those things!? Such BIG Baby penguins are grey, you know. So are very tiny rocks. Pebbles. How about one of those once in a while to give me a break?

7 Your very tired friend, Grey Crayon. DUNCAN: Yawning and stretching Rhinos and hippos and whales, oh my! Sorry Gray I didn t realize you had such a heavy load! RED CRAYON: Womp wommmp! DUNCAN: Rubbing eyes and stretching NEXT! WHITE CRAYON: Dear Duncan. You colour with me, but why? Most of the time I m the same colour as the page you are using me on WHITE. If I didn t have a black outline, you wouldn t even know I was THERE! I m not even in the rainbow. I m only used to colour snow, or to fill an empty space between other things. And it leaves me Empty. We need to talk. Your empty friend, White Crayon. BLACK CRAYON: Empty? Really? WHITE CRAYON: Oh, don t you take that tone with me! You might as well be King of the crayon box! BLACK CRAYON: Oh. Yea. Because I have it sooo easy. Pssshh. Give me a BREAK! WHITE CRAYON: Fine. Let s hear it. What could you possibly have to complain about? Duncan opens letter; Black Crayon looks over his shoulder at White Crayon and then begins to speak BLACK CRAYON: Hi Duncan.

8 I HATE being used to draw the outline of Things that are coloured in by other colours, all of which think they re brighter than me! It s NOT FAIR when you use me to draw a nice beach ball and then fill in the colours of the ball with ALL THE OTHER Crayons ! How about a black beach ball sometime? Is that too much to ask? Your friend, Black Crayon. DUNCAN: Guys. GUYS! When you re thinkin bout bein my Crayons , it don t matter if you re black or white! Hangs head. NARRATOR: Duncan was starting to worry. Were any of his Crayons happy? Had he managed to get anything right? All of this crayon criticism had him feeling not only worried, but a little sad. GREEN CRAYON: Dear Duncan. As green crayon, I am writing for two reasons. One is to say that I like my work load of crocodiles, trees, dinosaurs, and frogs. I have no problems and wish to congratulate you on a very successful colouring things green career so far. The second reason I write is for my friends, Yellow Crayon and Orange Crayon who are no longer speaking to each other.

9 Both Crayons feel THEY should be the colour of the sun. Please settle this soon, because they are driving the rest of us CRAZY! Your happy friend, Green Crayon. RED CRAYON: Mocking Look at me! I m Green Crayon! No complaints here, I m Duncan s pet! GREEN CRAYON: Grouchy Oh, Shut up! You re just ME with ENVY! ORANGE CRAYON: Zip it, both of you! I cannot WAIT to hear what s coming next. Orange Crayon takes place slightly behind Yellow Crayon, mocking as Yellow speaks. YELLOW CRAYON: Dear Duncan. Yellow Crayon here. I need you to tell Orange Crayon that I am the colour of the sun. I would tell him, but we are no longer speaking. And I can PROVE I m the colour of the sun, too! Last Tuesday you used me to colour in the sun on your HAPPY FARM colouring book. In case you ve forgotten, it s on page 7. You can t miss me. I m shining down brilliantly on a field of YELLOW corn! Your pal (and the true colour of the sun) Yellow Crayon. Orange Crayon & Yellow Crayon glare at each other, circling one another in silence.

10 BLUE CRAYON: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! Gray Crayon puts her hand over Blue Crayon s mouth. DUNCAN: Looking out into the audience Oh, ORANGE CRAYON: Dear Duncan. I see Yellow Crayon already talked to you. The BIG WHINER. Anyway, could you please tell Ms. Tattletale that he is NOT the colour of the sun? I would, but we re not longer speaking. We both know I am clearly the colour of the sun because, on Thursday, you used me to colour the sun on BOTH the Monkey Island and the Meet the Zookeeper in your Day at the Zoo colouring book. Orange you glad I m here? HA! Your pal (and the REAL colour of the sun) Orange Crayon. **Yellow & Orange do that think Naomi showed us before March Break in unison** ?? NARRATOR, DUNCAN, & ALL Crayons EXCEPT YELLOW & ORANGE: Looking at audience WOW! BLUE CRAYON: Well, it s certainly tough to follow those two rays of sunshine (rolls eyes), but I demand to be heard! Dear Duncan. It has been great being your FAVOURITE colour this past year.