Buckets and Spectacles - Media Farm

1 Text copyright 2007 by Trenton Lee StewartAll rights reserved. Except as permitted under the Act of 1976, no part of this publication may bereproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or byany means, or stored in a database or retrieval system,without the prior written permission of the , Brown and CompanyHachette Book Group USA237 Park Avenue, New York, NY 10017 Visit our Web site at eBook Edition: April 2008 The characters and events portrayed in this book arefictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, iscoincidental and not intended by the : 978-0-316-03211-7 ContentsPencils, Erasers, and DisqualificationBuckets and SpectaclesSquares and ArrowsThe Trouble with Children Or, Why They Are NecessaryThe Sender and the MessagesThe Men in the MazeCodes and HistoriesThe Thing to ComeThe Naming of the CrewNomansan IslandTraps and NonsenseBeware the GeminiLessons LearnedPeople and Places to Be AvoidedLogical Conclusions and MiscalculationsPoison Apples, Poison WormsA Surprising SuggestionTests and InvitationsEverything As It Should BeOf Families Lost and FoundTactical CactupiCaught in the ActThe Waiting RoomPunishments and PromotionsHalf a RiddleThe WhispererOpen SesamePractice Makes PerfectKnow Thine EnemyA Chess LessonThe Mouse in the CulvertSacrifices, Narrow Escapes, and Something Like a PlanBad News and Bad NewsSticky s DiscoveryThe Great Kate Weather MachineStands and FallsThe Best MedicineEscapes and ReturnsFor Every Exit, an EntranceAcknowledgmentsFor Elliot.

2 Erasers, andDisqualificationIn a city called Stonetown, near a port called StonetownHarbor, a boy named Reynie Muldoon was preparing totake an important test. It was the second test of the day the first had been in an office across town. After that one hewas told to come here, to the Monk Building on ThirdStreet, and to bring nothing but a single pencil and a singlerubber eraser, and to arrive no later than one o clock. If hehappened to be late, or bring two pencils, or forget hiseraser, or in any other way deviate from the instructions, hewould not be allowed to take the test, and that would bethat. Reynie, who very much wanted to take it, was carefulto follow the instructions. Curiously enough, these were theonly ones given. He was not told how to get to the MonkBuilding, for example, and had found it necessary to askdirections to the nearest bus stop, acquire a schedule froma dishonest bus driver who tried to trick him into paying forit, and walk several blocks to catch the Third Street that any of this was difficult for Reynie he was only eleven years old, he was quite usedto figuring things out for somewhere across the city, a church bell struck thehalf hour.

3 Twelve-thirty. He still had a while to wait. Whenhe d checked the doors of the Monk Building at noon, theywere locked. So Reynie had bought a sandwich at a delistand and sat down on this park bench to eat. A tall buildingin Stonetown s busiest district must surely have manyoffices inside, he thought. Locked doors at noon seemed alittle peculiar. But then, what hadn t been peculiar about thiswhole affair?To begin with, there was the advertisement. A few daysbefore, Reynie had been reading the newspaper overbreakfast at the Stonetown Orphanage, sharing sectionswith his tutor, Miss Perumal. (As Reynie had alreadycompleted all the textbooks on his own, even those for highschool students, the orphanage director had assigned hima special tutor while the other children went to class. MissPerumal didn t quite know what to do with Reynie, either,but she was intelligent and kind, and in their time togetherthey had grown fond of sharing the morning newspaperover breakfast and tea.)

4 The newspaper that morning had been filled with theusual headlines, several of them devoted to what wascommonly called the Emergency: Things had gottendesperately out of control, the headlines reported; theschool systems, the budget, the pollution, the crime, theweather .. why, everything, in fact, was a complete mess,and citizens everywhere were clamoring for a major no,a dramatic improvement in government. Things mustchange NOW! was the slogan plastered on billboards allover the city (it was a very old slogan), and although Reynierarely watched television, he knew the Emergency was themain subject of the news programs every day, as it hadbeen for years. Naturally, when Reynie and Miss Perumalfirst met, they had discussed the Emergency at greatlength. Finding themselves quite in agreement aboutpolitics, however, they soon found such conversation boringand decided to drop the subject.

5 In general, then, theytalked about the other news stories, those that varied day today, and afterward they amused themselves by reading theadvertisements. Such was the case on that particularmorning when Reynie s life had so suddenly taken a turn. Do you care for more honey with your tea? MissPerumal had asked speaking in Tamil, a language shewas teaching him but before Reynie could answer that ofcourse he wanted more honey, the advertisement caughtMiss Perumal s eye, and she exclaimed, Reynie! Look atthis! Would you be interested? Miss Perumal sat across the table from him, but Reynie,who had no trouble reading upside down, quickly scannedthe advertisement s bold-printed words: ARE YOU AGIFTED CHILD LOOKING FOR SPECIALOPPORTUNITIES? How odd, he thought. The questionOPPORTUNITIES? How odd, he thought. The questionwas addressed directly to children, not to their had never known his parents, who died when hewas an infant, and it pleased him to read a notice thatseemed to take this possibility into account.

6 But still, howodd. How many children read the newspaper, after all?Reynie did, but he had always been alone in this, hadalways been considered an oddball. If not for Miss Perumalhe might even have given it up by now, to avoid some of theteasing. I suppose I might be interested, he said to MissPerumal, if you think I would qualify. Miss Perumal gave him a wry look. Don t you playgames with me, Reynie Muldoon. If you aren t the mosttalented child I ve ever known, then I ve never known a childat all. There were to be several sessions of the testadministered over the weekend; they made plans forReynie to attend the very first session. Unfortunately, onSaturday Miss Perumal s mother fell ill and Miss Perumalcouldn t take him. This was a real disappointment toReynie, and not just because of the delay. He alwayslooked forward to Miss Perumal s company her laughter,her wry expressions, the stories she told (often in Tamil) ofher childhood in India, even the occasional sighs she madewhen she didn t think he was aware.

7 They were gentle andlilting, these sighs, and despite their melancholy Reynieloved to hear them. Miss Perumal sighed when she wasfeeling sad for him, he knew sad to see him teased bythe other children, sad the poor boy had lost his parents the other children, sad the poor boy had lost his parents and Reynie wished he hadn t worried her, but he did likeknowing she cared. She was the only one who did (notcounting Seymore, the orphanage cat, with whom Reyniespent the day in the reading room and he only wanted tobe petted). Quite apart from his eagerness to take thespecial test, Reynie simply missed Miss was hopeful, then, when Mr. Rutger, the orphanagedirector, informed him late that evening that Miss Perumal smother was considerably improved. Reynie was in thereading room again, the only place in the orphanage wherehe could be assured of solitude (no one else ever venturedinto it) and freedom from persecution.

8 At dinner, an olderboy named Vic Morgeroff had tormented Reynie for usingthe word enjoyable to describe the book he was thought it too fancy a word to be proper, and soon hadgotten the entire table laughing and saying enjoyable inmocking tones until Reynie had finally excused himselfwithout dessert and retreated here. Yes, she s much better, much better, said Mr. Rutger,through a mouthful of cheesecake. He was a thin man witha thin face, and his cheeks positively bulged as he chewed. Miss Perumal just telephoned with the news. She askedfor you, but as you were not to be found in the dining hall,and I was in the middle of dinner, I took the message foryou. Thank you, said Reynie with a mixture of relief anddisappointment. Cheesecake was his favorite dessert. I mglad to hear it. Indeed, nothing like health. Absolutely nothing like thing for anyone, said Mr. Rutger, but here he pausedin his chewing, with an unpleasant worried expression uponhis face, as if he thought perhaps there had been an insectin his food.

9 Finally he swallowed, brushed the crumbs fromhis waistcoat, and said, But see here, Reynie, MissPerumal mentioned a test of some sort. Specialopportunities, she said. What is this all about? This isn tabout attending an advanced school, is it? They had been through this before. Reynie hadrepeatedly asked permission to apply elsewhere, but had insisted Reynie would fare better here, with atutor, than at an advanced school. Here you arecomfortable, Mr. Rutger had told him more than once. Andmore than once Reynie had thought, Here I m alone. But inthe end Mr. Rutger had his way, and Miss Perumal washired. It had proved a blessing Reynie would nevercomplain about Miss Perumal. Still, he had often wonderedwhat life might have been like at a school where the otherstudents didn t find him so odd. I don t know, sir, Reynie said, his hopefulness slippinginto dejection. He wished Miss Perumal hadn t mentionedthe test, though of course she must have felt obliged to.

10 We just wanted to see what it was about. Mr. Rutger considered this. Well, no harm in seeing whatthings are about, I suppose. I should like to know what it sabout myself. In fact, why don t you prepare a report for mewhen you return? Say, ten pages? No hurry, you can turn itin tomorrow evening. Tomorrow evening? said Reynie. Does that mean I mtaking the test? I thought I told you, said Mr. Rutger with a frown. MissPerumal will come for you first thing in the morning. Hetook out an embroidered handkerchief and blew his nosewith great ferocity. And now, Reynie, I believe I ll leave youto your reading. This dusty room is a hardship on mysinuses. Be a good man and run a feather duster over theshelves before you leave, will you? After hearing this news, Reynie could hardly return to hisreading. He flailed about with the feather duster and wentstraight to bed, as if doing so would hasten the morning sarrival.