Lesson 5 Using Communication Skills

1 ThinkStock LLC/Index StockWhat You ll Learn1. Identify steps to follow todevelop interpersonalcommunication Skills .(p. 41)2. Discuss I-messages, you-messages, mixed messages,and active listening.(p. 42)3. Outline consequences of andways to correct wrong actions.(p. 46)4. Discuss resistance Skills .(p. 47)5. Describe how to be self-confident and assertive.(p. 48)6. Describe types of conflict,conflict response styles,conflict-resolution Skills , andthe mediation process .(p. 49)7. Discuss ways to avoidprejudicial behavior.(p. 54)Why It s ImportantCommunication Skills help youconverse with others, resistnegative peer pressure, andresolve conflicts.

2 These actionsprotect and promote Terms Communication Skills I-message you-message active listening peer pressure resistance Skills assertive behavior conflict-resolution Skills mediation prejudice40 UNIT 1 Health SkillsUsing CommunicationSkills I will use interpersonal Communication Skills to enhance health. I will use resistance Skills when appropriate. I will use conflict-resolution Skills to are your Communication Skills ? Do you speak clearly? Do youlisten carefully when others speak? When you say no, do people take you seriously? This Lesson includes life Skills that help you communicate About Avoiding Prejudicial BehaviorYou are speakingwith a classmate about a new student at your school.

3 The new student isof a different ethnicity than your classmate. Your classmate makesprejudicial remarks. Read page 54 about ways to avoid prejudicialbehavior. Then write an entry in your health journal discussing aconversation you might have with your 5 Using Communication Skills41(tt)Photodisc/Getty Images, (b)Dave Robertson/Masterfile Skills that help a person share feelings, thoughts, and information with others are Some people communicate clearly and easily with everyone around them. Others struggle to make themselves can take steps to develop this skill to the benefit of your health and that of to Use InterpersonalCommunication Skillscommunication the best way to choices for how you com-municate with others are almostunlimited.

4 When you need to com-municate with another person, youcan choose to speak to someone inperson, speak to someone on thetelephone, write a letter, draw a pic-ture, use body language (includingfacial expressions), use sign lan-guage, leave a message on voice mailor on an answering machine, or sendan you communicate may dependon what you are trying to say. There isa difference between communicatingdirections to a restaurant and commu-nicating your feelings about anotherperson. If you want to give someonedirections to a restaurant, you coulddescribe it in words, or you could drawa you want to share yourfeelings about something with some-one.

5 You might choose a private placeto talk. Most likely, you would not talkabout your feelings on voice mail thatsomeone else might hear or in an e-mail that someone else might if you are in a position whereyou need to say no to someone andwant to send a strong message? Then,you might use body language as wellas verbal Communication , and shakeyour head no. is the use of actions or bodylanguage to express emotions andthoughts. Ignoring someone also is ameans of nonverbal commu-A person s voiceand his or hernonverbalcommunicationboth send amessage. Whatemotions can youassociate with thisstudent?

6 Your thoughts and responsibility for ex-pressing your thoughts clearly. Do notexpect others to figure out what youmean you must tell have two choices when youcommunicate: I-messages and you-messages. An expressesyour feelings or thoughts on a contains a specific behavior orevent, the effect of the behavior orevent on the person speaking, and theemotions that result. Examples of I-messages are: I am in a difficult situ-ation because you didn t return mybook to me before class today. Now ifthe teacher calls on me to read, Iwon t be able to, and Mrs.

7 Clark willthink I m not prepared for class. When you use an I-message,you express your emotions withoutblaming or shaming another person,you avoid attacking another person orputting him or her on the defensive,and you give the other person achance to the other hand, a you-messagewill result in the opposite response. Ais a statement thatblames or shames another person. Ayou-message puts down another per-son for what he or she has said ordone, even if you don t have the wholestory about what happened. A you-message for the situation abovemight be, I can t believe you forgotmy book.

8 You are so stupid! Can t youdo anything right? If you use a you-message, you don tshare your emotions in a healthfulway, and you don t give the other per-son a chance to share his or her emo-tions. You-messages put people in adefensive position, so they are morelikely to respond negatively to yournegative should try to become skilled atusing I-messages. Compare the I-message and the you-message in thesituation described above. Thinkabout which way you would prefer tobe treated if someone were upsetwith in situations where you areangry, Using I-messages will be moreeffective than Using will still share your emotions, butyou will also maintain healthy rela-tionships with sending mixed you express your feelings, youwill have the best response if yousend one clear message.

9 A mixedmessageis a message that gives twodifferent meanings, such as I wantto do this and I don t really want todo this. For example, the words peopleuse and the tone of their voice whenthey speak can send different mean-ings. Suppose a friend apologizes forsomething that he has done to you,but the tone of his voice is you believe his apology is sincere? Sending one message is you send a mixed message, youpresent yourself as being confused orinsincere. Sometimes, you may needto take a moment to decide how youfeel about a situation. Take thatmoment, then voice a single messagewith consistent words, tone, and Young-Wolf/Photo Edit42 UNIT 1 Health SkillsMake theConnectionExpress YourselfFormore informationabout expressingemotions, see page 96in Lesson matter how angrysomeone is, he or shewill get better resultsusing I-messages insteadof to the other clearly is an importantcommunication skill.

10 Listeningcarefully is just as someone is speaking to you,pay attention to what he or she eye contact with the per-son this is a nonverbal way to showthe speaker that you are interestedin what he or she has to say. If youare preoccupied with something else,the speaker isn t sure if you are lis-tening at all, and he or she may giveup trying to hold a can use gestures, such as nod-ding your head, to encourage furtherconversation, as well. Pay attentionto the speaker s body language andtone to see if he or she might be send-ing a mixed message. If so, you maywant to ask more questions to findout what he or she really means.